


An (Almost) Perfect Rescue Mission

by deanshipsdestiel



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Clones, Crossover, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Gay, Gen, Humor, Hunter!Wade, Hunting, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Smut, Running Away, Sexual Tension, Spideypool - Freeform, The Author Regrets Everything, hunter!Peter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2018-12-13 08:46:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 23,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11756229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanshipsdestiel/pseuds/deanshipsdestiel
Summary: Dean Winchester's life is turned upside-down when a red-and-black spandex-wearing douchebag is found in the bunker, blabbering about how his friend was kidnapped and how he needs help on getting him back.Apparently, Dean, his brother, and their awkward angel best friend are the perfect people for a rescue mission.





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [一個不算太成功的救援任務](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13021656) by [Dushroom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dushroom/pseuds/Dushroom)



> this is such a shitshow i'm so sorry i need sleep
> 
> i've shipped spideypool for a while (shout out to spiderman: homecoming for reawakening those feelings), and i've always loved the idea of an avengers/supernatural crossover, thus ending in the creation of whatever the fuck this is.
> 
> read at your own risk. it's not triggering just dumb lmao
> 
> -izzy

Dean Winchester opened the door to the bunker with the weird ass magic key, ignored the sharp pain that shot up his arm when he moved it and stepped aside to let Sam and Cas go through the doorway before him.

It had been a typical hunt. Some dick werewolf decided to kidnap young girls (they were all blond, which just made Dean's heart ache in the memory of Jo), and after a couple of days of sitting on their asses, Sam and Dean (and Cas) found out who the werewolf was. The motherfucker was good, but they managed to swoop in, save the girls, and kill the thing. 

It was, above all, average.

The thing that stood out to Dean the most was the fact that even though one of the girls had handed him her number with a sultry wink, he couldn't bring himself to follow through. He didn't want to have sex with her. There was only one person he wanted to have sex with, and the person was a certain dark-haired, blue-eyed angel.

It started out as just a fleeting thought. Just one thought, which turned into many thoughts, which turned into downright _scandalous _dreams, which then converted into a sort of, well, wanting. Dean hated the fact that he sounded like a hormonal teenager, but it was true.__

Then, the thoughts and dreams transformed into fucking _what if? _statements.__

____

What if Dean and Cas could start a family together? What if they could fall in love? What if they could be happy together? What if they could leave the hunter life?

____

Dean knew all of these things were ridiculous, of course, but it didn't stop him from thinking about them.

____

A loud shout from down on the floor drew Dean out of his thoughts. He was still standing near the door, for some reason, so he quickly closed it and peered down over the railing to see what the commotion was.

____

Sam had his gun up, aimed at something, and Cas had his hand up to expel his angelic power, which Dean found quite hot. Of course, if the weapons were out, something was wrong.

____

Barreling down the stairs, he shoved the key in his pocket and pulled his gun out in one swift motion. Dean ran to stand beside Cas, honoring his and Sam's silent agreement to protect the angel ever since that shit with Lucifer went down. Sam was on the other side of Cas, eyes fixated on something in the library.

____

"Who are you?" Sam barked, and that was when Dean's brain decided to register the man in front of them.

____

He was lying "paint me like one of your French girls" style across the library table, facing the trio. He was wearing a red and black suit (armor?), with two swords sticking out of his back, a couple of guns scattered around his body, and a knife near his ankle. The man seemed completely lax, even though two guns were pointed at him. It was almost like he'd been in this situation before.

____

Dean was sure that he had seen this man before, he just couldn't remember where. Maybe on TV?

____

"Answer his question, Walking BDSM," Dean growled, and the man let out a sharp laugh.

____

"Now you, Green Jolly Rancher Eyes, I like you." Dean wasn't sure how comfortable he was with knowing that some spandex-wrapped fuckface liked him, but whatever. Also, how could he see out of the mask? It looked like it was as thick as a sandwich from Arby’s.

____

Next to Dean, Cas frowned. "I don't understand those references." 

____

Cas' comment made Spandex laugh again, and he jumped off the table, landed on his feet, and started slowly walking towards them.

____

"Stay where you are!" Sam yelled, repointing his gun for effect. Spandex merely laughed harder and continued his short little trek towards them, but Dean has pretty sure he was going for Cas. So he stepped in front of the angel, ignored Cas’s annoyed growl, and raised his gun higher.

____

"You sure you're gonna be able to shoot those things, boys?" Spandex purred, and so Sam shot him in the leg while Dean shot him in the arm.

____

Spandex didn't drop down in pain, though. Instead, he cursed and stopped walking. "What the fuck, male models? I thought we had a thing goin'."

____

"Tell us who you are," Cas said in a calm voice. "And you won't get seriously injured."

____

Dean had to applaud the angel; he _really _knew what the _wrong _thing to say was in these situations. "Cas, stop."____

_______ _ _ _

"Cas!" Spandex exclaimed. "Pretty name for pretty eyes."

_______ _ _ _

Cas looked uncomfortable. He even shifted slightly, and Dean wanted to kill Spandex right then and there. 

_______ _ _ _

Dean got his chance as soon as Spandex started walking again. Sam shot the guy a couple of times in the chest while Dean aimed for the head. Cas just sighed, probably annoyed that he couldn't use his powers.

_______ _ _ _

Spandex fell to the floor just a few feet away from them, blood dripping from his wounds. Dean prayed to God, hell, he even prayed to Allah that he was actually dead.

_______ _ _ _

"Now what?" Sam asked quietly, and Dean shrugged, putting his gun back. Sam mimicked his actions, and Cas lowered his hand.

_______ _ _ _

"I dunno."

_______ _ _ _

They stayed there for few minutes, staring at the corpse in front of them. It lay, unmoving, on the floor, but the blood stopped coming out of the wounds. Dean chose to ignore that observation.

_______ _ _ _

"We should probably burn the body," Sam said, and Dean made an agreeing noise, eyes never leaving the corpse. There was just something so _unnerving _about it.__

_________ _ _ _ _ _

Cas opened his mouth, clearly about to suggest something, when there was a gasping noise from the floor, and suddenly Spandex sat up, looking around wildly before realizing he wasn't alone.

_________ _ _ _ _ _

Spandex shot up, facing the trio, and grabbed the two swords from his back and held them up to Sam and Dean's throats faster than Dean could 'awesome.'

_________ _ _ _ _ _

"Alright, well, considering that you just _shot _me, these next few moments are gonna be real uncomfortable. Put down the guns, and I promise I won't hurt you severely. Unless you're into that sort of thing because in that case, the safe word is “keep going." Alright? Now, Ocean Eyes, I'm allowing you a free pass because I like you. Offensively Proportional Face, Disgruntled Moose-Man, you two are gonna stay where you are."__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Cas managed to slither out and was currently standing in a safe space away from Spandex. Dean didn't blame him. 

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"What are you?" Dean blurted out. 

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Spandex laughed. "Now that, my handsome friend, is the $64 question."

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Someone said that to him before. Dean recalled someone saying that same thing to him many years prior. Who was it? Why couldn't he fucking remember?

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Beside him, Sam's eyes narrowed. "Are you working for Gabriel?"

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabriel! That's right. When Sam and Dean got trapped in TV hell, the trickster said that to them. Dean remembered being pressed against a wall, and not in a fun way.

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Spandex cocked his head. "Who the fuck is Gabriel? I'm currently working for myself. Unless you want someone dead because then I'm your man."

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"What?"

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Have you-fuck!" Spandex seemed to remember something important because he dropped the swords. Sam lowered his gun, and Dean mimicked his actions. "Shit! Fuck!"

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sam looked confused, and Dean was considering shooting Spandex again. "What-"

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I need your help," Spandex interrupted. "Which you probably won't give, because I almost slit your throats, but you guys still killed me, so I guess we're even. Yeah, so my friend is missing, and I tried talking to the Assvengers, but they won't do shit, so here I am. I know that you guys kill vampires and that shit for a living, so you're probably pretty good at raids-"

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Stop." Cas deadpanned, walking forward to stand in the middle of Sam and Dean.

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dean had no idea why Cas decided to put himself in danger _again _, but the angel’s presence had an oddly calming effect on him.__

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Spandex snorted. "If I wanted someone to boss me around, I would have gone back to the Tin Man's Tower."

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Cas sighed. "Who's your friend?"

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Oh yeah! His name-actually, I don't think I can tell you that."

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and slid his gun back into its original hiding place. "Let's start with what your name is."

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Spandex nodded. "Sorry, Very Defined Jaw-Line. I forgot. My name is Deadpool."

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sam looked confused. "Um, who?"

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Span- _Deadpool _looked offended. Well, Dean pretended he looked insulted. He wasn't sure what Deadpool's expression was under the Arby’s Sandwich Mask. "The Merc with a Mouth? Pool, Deadpool? Really? Nothing?"__

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Your name is Wade Winston Wilson.”

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Deadpool stared at Cas. “That’s right! How did you know that?”

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Cas shifted and looked toward the ground. “I know everything.”

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“What are you, God?”

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’m an Angel Of The Lord.” Cas deadpanned, which caused Deadpool to raise his hand to his face in mock surprise.

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Oh-em-gee, really?"

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dean sighed and buried his face in his hands. This was going to be a very, very long day.

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	2. ii

“So,” Dean said awkwardly. “Now what?”

Sam, Dean, and Cas were sitting at the library table in seats across from Deadpool. Dean and Deadpool both had beer bottles, because, well _beer _, and because if Dean didn’t have a beer to drink while settling some psychopath’s problems, you might as well just end his miserable life.__

__“You people have to rescue my friend,” Deadpool said, rolling up his mask to his nose to take a sip of his beer._ _

__The skin around his mouth has heavily scarred, but Dean couldn’t bring himself to care. Deadpool’s scars may be on his exterior, but Dean’s were in his interior, and he really couldn’t judge someone else for scars that weren’t their fault._ _

__“Why?” Sam asked._ _

__Deadpool barked out a harsh laugh. “Why? Because you guys seem to be the only people who can actually help me. The Assvengers are sitting in their billion-dollar tower with their heads neck deep in their own asses, and therefore are of no use to me.”_ _

__“What use would we be to you?” Cas said, tilting his head to the side._ _

__“A little birdie tells me that you three stopped the apocalypse.”_ _

__Dean took a long sip of his beer. “Yeah, so?”_ _

__He remembered the apocalypse. They lost Jo and Ellen. Dean lost Sam for an entire year, all because Lucifer was having a hissy fit. The apocalypse was a solemn time. Still better than the shit Dean was going through now._ _

__“So?” Deadpool said, incredulous. “Are you fucking kidding me? You people stopped the fucking _apocalypse _, and all you have to say is ‘so’?”___ _

____Dean opened his mouth to give back a witty reply but was cut off by Sam._ _ _ _

____“Who told you we stopped the apocalypse?”_ _ _ _

____There was a moment of silence before Deadpool said, “This girl named Meg.”_ _ _ _

____Dean gave Cas a sharp glance (he hadn’t forgotten him and Meg’s little love affair) and told Deadpool firmly that none of that mattered now, they should focus on finding Spiderman. Or whatever was going on._ _ _ _

____“When did she tell you this?” Cas asked after a minute, and Dean realized _shit, Meg’s been dead for, like, four years, she couldn’t have possibly told Deadpool anything. _____ _ _

______Deadpool reached up to rub at his lips, probably a nervous tick and seemed startled to see that his mask was rolled up. “Whoops.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He moved to roll it back down, but Cas stopped him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Don’t,” He said gently. “If you want us to trust you, you need to trust us. Take your mask off, and we’ll discuss our next move in finding your friend.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Of course, you still have to tell us what Meg said about us,” Sam said, and Dean had to agree with that. If Meg was still alive, there was going to be a _lot _of problems.___ _ _ _ _ _

________Deadpool sighed, took off his mask, and placed it next to his beer. “I may or may not have been keeping tabs on you people for five years.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The skin that covered his head was heavily scared. Deadpool didn’t have hair or eyebrows, but, like before, Dean just didn’t care. It was just skin. Plus, there were more pressing matters at hand than worrying about some immature dickwad’s skin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“And Meg helped you?” Dean asked, incredulous. Meg was a bitch; she had been more than helpful in the end, though._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yep.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Why?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I helped her try to kill British dick, Cowardly or something dumb like that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Dean choked on his beer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You mean Crowley?” Sam said, clearly trying very hard not to freak the fuck out while doing a superb job at ignoring his brother._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Deadpool nodded. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Cas let out a very long sigh. “That is not good.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah, you think, Captain Obvious?” Dean snapped. “Deadpool, you know Meg’s dead, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Deadpool nodded, opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again with eyes wide. “Ah, shit.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Slowly, Deadpool said, “I think I know who took Spidey.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Peter woke up to chains around his wrists and his ankles. They rattled every time he moved, so he figured they were pretty tightly bound._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Once his eyes were adjusted to the darkness, Peter got a good look at where he was._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________This place wasn’t his bedroom; there were fewer blood stains in his room than in this dungeon-look-alike._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It was a kind of throne room; a couple of steps were leading up to a giant chair underneath a window. Peter realized that the chains that confined him were wrapped around one of the columns that marked the sides of a sort of walkway._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There was a sharp pain in his head, and Peter started to remember things._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He had been on patrol with Wade; they were eating Mexican food because, “Mexican is the best food, baby boy!” and keeping an eye out for crime when Wade suddenly disappeared, and the world went black._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Peter wasn’t sure why Wade had started patrolling the city with him, but he was glad that he had begun. Even though Peter would never admit it to Wade’s face, the company was certainly pleasurable. He was starting to enjoy the mercenary’s banter and jokes; even if Wade was strangely fixated on Peter's ass._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There was the sound of a door opening and closing, and then, “Ah, you’re awake.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The voice was British, and Peter quickly tried to remember all the British villains he’d fought in his life._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“So,” Stereotypical British Villain said, leaning in close to Peter as if he was merely an animal in a zoo. “You’re Peter Parker, A.K.A Spiderman, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Peter just glared at his assailant. He wouldn’t give in to this torture, or whatever it was. He would try to stay awake and collect as much information before escaping._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m Crowley,” Stereotype continued, an amused look on his face. “Don’t worry; I’m not going to hurt you. Yet. Do you know who I am?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Peter shook his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Crowley sighed. “I’m the King of Hell. I just need you to get your boyfriend, Wade Wilson, here. He has some valuable information that I would like to know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“He’s not my boyfriend,” Peter said automatically, wincing at how scratchy his voice sounded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I don’t care what he is, he cares about you and therefore will be looking for you. Okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Before Peter could respond, Crowley’s phone rang._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hold on,” The King said, reaching into his pocket. “I’m sure it’s just a demon. Hello?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Demon? What the fuck was going on?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Squirrel! What an unpleasant surprise. I was hoping for Moose-what?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Crowley glanced in Peter’s direction. “Why?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There was yelling from the phone, so loud that Crowley pulled the phone away from his ear. Once it died down, he brought it to his ear again. “Bring me him, and I’ll give you Sticky Feet here.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Glorious silence had filled the air before Crowley destroyed it again. “Fine. It was absolutely _horrible _talking to you, Squirrel.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Peter had no idea what was going on, but it didn’t sound right. Whoever this Crowley guy was seemed villainous, and Peter wouldn't stand for it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He pulled against the chains and winced when the cuffs tightened around his wrist._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Magic cuffs, the more you struggle, the more they make it impossible to. Learned it from my bitchy mother.” Said Crowley, who was sitting in the chair. _His _chair.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"You think your mother's bitchy?" Peter snorted. He would love to have a mother. Then again, Aunt May was the closest thing to a mother he had, and he wouldn't have it any other way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Crowley was silent for a moment before responding. "She is. Obviously, you can't relate, your mother is dead."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"Thanks."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________"No problem."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for all the comments!! i published this fic yesterday, and it's already received so much positive feedback! 
> 
> i can't believe people actually liked this idea! it seemed so dumb to me haha, but if y'all like it, i will make it my sole purpose to finish this fic.
> 
> please leave me more comments bc i'm a needy ho
> 
> thanks for reading!


	3. iii

"So, Crowley has Spiderman."

"Peter Parker, actually." Cas supplied helpfully, and Dean sighed.

"Yes, thank you, Cas. Like I was saying, Crowley has Peter, and wants you, Deadpool, in return. What do we do?"

Deadpool shrugged. "You obviously are much closer to this Crowley douche than I am. You decide."

After the phone call with Crowley, Dean grabbed a bunch of paper and started to plan things out before just throwing it all away. It was just Crowley; he didn't pose that much of a threat to Sam and Dean, plus two.

Sam hummed. "We could just walk in and demand that Crowley give us Spi-Peter."

Dean seemed to consider that. "He's gonna want Dead-Wade, though."

"Let him have me. As long as Peter's okay, I'm okay." Wade said, taking a swig of beer.

"You sure you two aren't dating?" Dean asked, amused. The way that Wade talked about Peter was how one in love talked.

Like how Dean spoke (and looked) at Cas.

_Shit. ___

____

Wade laughed. "Pretty sure, Emerald Eyes. I think I would know if we were dating."

____

"What if you don't?" Cas said, slightly confused by this whole discussion, and Dean really couldn't blame him.

____

"You would know, Cas, trust me."

____

Cas made a humming sound. "I forget that I'm legally married most of the time."

____

If there were any liquid in Dean's mouth, he would probably spit it out all over the table. "What?"

____

"Daphne, remember?" Said Cas, as if this was an entirely normal conversation to have. "I lost my memory, but you, Dean, helped me get it back. I think I have to divorce her."

____

"Wait," Wade said in between laughs. "You're married to this girl, but you just...forgot?"

____

Cas nodded.

____

"Holy shit. I have so much respect for you now."

____

Dean forced the bout of jealousy rising inside of him back down. "Can we focus?"

____

"Was it, like, a bad marriage?" Wade asked, ignoring Dean. "Or did you just leave her?"

____

"I'm not sure," Cas replied, _serious. _"I only remember her name."__

______ _ _

"Christ," Dean groaned, burying his face in his hands. "Let's focus, please."

______ _ _

"Sorry." Cas and Wade said in unison, only adding to Dean's headache.

______ _ _

Sam, bless him, intervened before Dean shot himself. "I vote that we just walk into Crowley's kingdom and get Peter. Who's with me?"

______ _ _

"Fuck it," Dean huffed, downing the rest of his beer. If he died today, he would rather it be by rescuing some douche's boyfriend then cardiac arrest.

______ _ _

"I'm in," Cas said, glancing at Dean so briefly that Dean thought he might've imagined it.

______ _ _

Wade copied Dean's beer activities before nodding. "Let's go get some arachnid ass."

______ _ _

"Never say that again."

______ _ _

"Fuck you, Walking Ken Doll.”

______ _ _

______ _ _

-

______ _ _

______ _ _

"Why do you need Wade?" Peter asked Crowley, who was currently sitting on his chair (Peter refused to call it a throne because if he did that, he would be acknowledging the fact that he was currently in Hell) and playing some game on his phone that involved vigorous tapping.

______ _ _

Crowley sighed and put the phone away before walking over to Peter, who was still chained to a fucking column.

______ _ _

"Your boyfriend-sorry, _friend _," Crowley corrected. He cast Peter a look that _clearly _said, _yeah if you two aren't dating then I'm Batman. _"He knows things, certain things that are of value to me. I would tell you, but I don't want to."______

_________ _ _ _ _ _

Peter groaned, closed his eyes, and rested his head against the wall, desperately trying not to injure it any further. "Couldn't you just capture him? Why do you need _me _?"__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

When there was no reply, Peter opened his eyes to see Crowley just standing in front of him, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I hadn't thought of that."

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Are you fucking serious?"

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Peter pulled against the chains, wincing when it, once again, tightened around his wrists. The first thing that he was going to do when he got out of here was run his wrists under cold water for three days straight._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Well," Said Crowley, already retreating to his _very large chair _like a wounded animal. "Too late to change it. You superheroes are _fantastic _for business, by the way. All the damage you cause and the people you kill? Hell was running a bit low on demons, but thanks to you..."____

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Right. Hell. Because Peter was obviously kidnapped by the King of Hell, who ran the very same place that Satan considered his crib. 

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

This was too much. He needed to sleep or fight crime or _something _.__

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Crowley didn't stop talking. He kept going about how the Avengers and X-Men and supers in general racked up a body count impressive to even the King himself.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He stopped when a loud knocking sounded throughout the room, and angry voices demanding that Crowley "open up the damn door."

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Was that Wade? Did he bring Tony and Steve and the rest of the Avengers? Was Peter being rescued? He wanted to call out, just to see if it was them, but a part of him knew that if he opened his mouth, Crowley would beat his ass into next week.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Excuse me," The King said, making his way from his chair (still not a throne) to the door. The second he opened it, he was thrown aside by a blur of red and black that beelined its way towards Peter.

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Baby boy, are you okay? I tried to get the Avengers to help, but the fucktards didn't seem like they cared at all, so I turned to three other people who are just normal, but I think that's fine. Did he hurt you? I swear, not knowing if you were alive or not was killing me. You're okay, though, right? I don't know-"

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Wade," Peter interrupted, not even bothering to hide his smile. "I'm fine. My wrists hurt, but other than that, I'm fine. But Wade, Crowley's after you."

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I know."

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Peter almost choked on his spit. "The fuck do you mean 'I know'? You need to leave! Now! I'll be alright, Wade-" He was cut off when Wade decided it would be an _excellent _idea to take out his swords and slice into Peter's bonds. The chains broke easily, and when they were separated from the column, the cuffs sprang open. The magic must've worn off or something. Peter didn't have time to think about it.__

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Wade put the swords back, hoisted Peter up, and walked them slowly over to where Crowley was currently being cornered by three neanderthal-looking people.

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

They were large, sure, but they weren't ugly, either. The first one, a blond with _gorgeous _green eyes was yelling at Crowley, while the tall one with long hair chimed in occasionally. The last one had dark hair and _breathtaking _blue eyes. He seemed to carry himself with a certain confidence, and Peter reckoned that he was a prince or something.____

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Oh God, what if he was the Prince of Hell? There was already a King, after all. Might as well throw in a whole royal family.

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Oh, good. You brought Wade Wilson to me. You can have the kid and be on your way."

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Blond gave a harsh laugh, one that hurt Peter's ears. He subconsciously leaned into Wade, who had one arm wrapped around his shoulders. The arm tightened around Peter when Crowley pointed at him, and even in the midst of the chaos, he couldn't but think that if Wade was near him for the rest of his life, Peter could take on the world. "Um, no. You can get your information or whatever the fuck you want, but we're staying here and supervising it."

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"What are you, my mother? Actually, don't answer that."

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Tall sighed. "Rowena's dead, Crowley."

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"And thank all gods for that," Crowley snapped back, annoyed. "Why can't you just leave with the Spider-Kid?"

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I'm 21." Peter interjected, shrinking back down into Wade's side when four pairs of eyes landed on him.

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Blond turned to Wade, exasperated. "That's who we rescued? _Him _?"__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Peter wasn't sure if he should be offended or not.

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Wade scowled. "He's also Spiderman, and I think that counts as something."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Of course you do," Blond snorted before turning back to Crowley. "Interrogate Wade; we'll wait right here."

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Crowley sighed before saying, "Fine. Wade, come here."

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Before Peter could stop anything, Wade's arm was gone, and he was walking over to where Crowley was.

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Peter's side that Wade had been pressed against was cold, and he wondered what he was doing with his life. Sure, Wade's company was one of the best things Peter had in his life right now. Their banter had Peter feeling light and happy, and whenever Wade was around, Peter's heart would beat faster and he would find himself just staring Wade; not at his skin, but at _him _, and-__

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Oh.

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Shit. ___

_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	4. iv

Wade and Crowley had been talking for ten minutes now. Dean didn't even know why he had agreed to this; usually hunters tried to stay out of superhero affairs, but apparently, Wade had thought it would be a fabulous idea to drag him into his life.

"So," The kid (Peter!) said, fiddling with his hands in front of him. "I'm, uh, Peter. I think you know that, though. Um, who are you guys?"

Sam gave Dean a look that said _should we trust him? _and honestly, Dean gave about zero fucks at this point. He nodded at Sam, who looked relieved. Being mean and ignoring so-called 21-year-old kids wasn't in Sam's bones.__

____

"I'm Dean Winchester, that's my brother Sam, and-"

____

"I am Castiel," Cas said, standing up a bit straighter. Was he showing off or just being annoying? Dean sure as hell didn't know and didn’t want to know in fear of the first option being the right option.

____

Peter nodded and glanced over at Wade and Crowley, probably seeing if they were done yet.

____

They should be done soon. If not, Dean was going to freak the fuck out. People were dying, and he was in Hell, helping a mercenary rescue his boyfriend. What was his life? What did we choose to do these things?

____

"Hey, can you hurry it up? We're on a schedule." Dean called, taking pleasure in the fact that Crowley scowled.

____

"Of course, love. Would you like some burgers and beer as well?" Dean snorted. Leave it to the King of fucking Hell to be a sarcastic little shit. It wasn't even that surprising, Crowley had always carried a little pouch of sarcasm wherever he went.

____

Before Dean could start a fight, Sam intervened. Whether that was good or not, who knows. Sam was doing a lot of intervening these days. "Just try to go a bit faster, okay, Crowley?"

____

Crowley glared at them before returning to his conversation.

____

Dean caught Cas staring thoughtfully at the Interrogating Duo, and took a moment to remember how beautiful Cas was.

____

The gorgeous fuck had perfect hair that Dean often fantasized running his fingers through, blue eyes that you could get fucking _lost _in, and Cas had no idea Dean felt this way. And that was _good _because the second Cas found out he would most likely run the other way.____

_______ _ _ _

People were attracted to Dean, sure, but none of them wanted to stay with him. Nobody wanted him in the same way he wanted Cas.

_______ _ _ _

Cas was the most beautiful person on the _planet _who deserved nothing but good things, and Dean was completely, head-over-heels, in love with him.__

_________ _ _ _ _ _

“Dean? Is there something wrong?” Dean was shaken from his thoughts when he noticed that Cas had moved closer to him out of concern.

_________ _ _ _ _ _

A quick glance around the room told Dean that Peter and Sam were somehow best friends and that Wade and Crowley _still _weren't done.__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dean sighed and looked at his best friend. One of his only friends, to be honest, which was a rather depressing thought because all of Dean’s friends were dead. Dead, never to be seen again, deceased, lifeless; he could go on. There were so many things he wanted to say, so many things he _should _say, but he couldn't.__

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_All my friends are dead because of me. ___

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_My life is spiraling out of control. ___

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’m fine, Cas,” Dean said instead, ignoring Cas’s look of skepticism. “Just tired, s’all.”

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Cas sighed. “If you say so.”

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Alright!” A loud voice said. Across the room, Wade clapped his hands together and rolled his mask up to his nose, revealing a shit-eating grin. “We all ready to go?”

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“That’s it?” Peter sounded incredulous, and Dean resisted the urge to roll his eyes, smack the kid, or both.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Wade strolled towards Peter; his grin faded into a fond smile. “Yep! Don’t worry, baby boy; I found out where your mask is, too. Wouldn’t want people to see Spiderman’s face! That ruins the point of a mystery!”

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Peter smiled. “Thanks, Wade.”

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

They must have been friends (or more) for a while, Dean realized. They both seemed completely lax around each other, which even Dean had a problem with around his brother. He loved Sam to death; it was just a bit much sometimes.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dean coughed awkwardly after a minute, because Wade and Peter were staring and smiling at each other, which looked a bit odd. They jumped apart, Peter looking a bit ignominious, and Wade looking amused.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Let’s go.”

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

-

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

They were in the car, Dean driving, Sam in shotgun, and Cas sitting behind Sam with Wade in the middle, and Peter on Wade’s left. It had been a while since they left Hell, and Peter found himself thinking. Was Peter shocked by the fact that three hunters rescued him? Yes. Was he impressed by the fact that three hunters had managed to break into Hell and save him? Yes. Was he annoyed by the fact that Wade wouldn’t shut up about angels? _Yes. ___

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“So, can you, like, smite people? Oh! Do you stab people with a special angel sword or something? Are you best friends with God? If other angels are your siblings, is it incest if you kiss them? Why are there so many men in the Bible? Are-“

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Wade,” Peter warned. He had just been kidnapped, his head hurt, and Wade’s relentless chatter wasn’t helping at all.

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“What? Are you okay, Petey? You’re looking awfully pale.”

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Peter nodded, then leaned over Wade’s lap and proceeded to pass out.

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

When he woke up, he was in some bedroom that most definitely wasn’t his. It was small, and the bed was comfortable, but it wasn’t Peter’s. It was some strange hotel-like room.

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Oh, good,” A voice said from the doorway. “You’re awake. We were worried about you. Crowley must’ve hurt you real bad.”

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sam walked in with some water and pills, and Peter felt relief wash over him, followed by panic.

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I need to go home,” He rasped, trying to sit up, but failing miserably. “I-My aunt-“

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

But Sam just waved him off. “Wade’s taken care of it. Apparently, him and your Aunt are close friends.” 

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

What?

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Where’s Wade right now?” Peter asked, internally freaking out because _Wade knew about May oh god ohgodohgodohgodohgod_

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sam shrugged and handed Peter the glass of water and two pills which Peter recognized as Tylenol. He swallowed the pills and downed the water, then asked again, “Where’s Wade?”

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Wade was apparently out buying Peter a shit ton of candy, at least according to Sam, who got his info from Dean.

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Peter wasn’t sure what Dean’s problem was yet, and he didn’t really want to find out. He knew about hunters, about vampires and werewolves and all the supernatural, but superheroes and hunters don’t cross paths unless they have to.

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

This situation demanded that a superhero (plus Wade) and three hunters had to cross paths, to which Peter was still confused about. What was so interesting about their separate storylines that they just _had _to converse?__

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sam left the room, shutting off the lights as he closed the door, and Peter realized how tired he was. Yawning, he snuggled into the pillows and blankets, wishing for the first time that Wade was there to keep him warm.

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

When Peter woke up, he immediately noticed the giant fucking mound of candy that lay on the desk. Another glance around the room revealed that there were two nightstands and a dresser. It was strange that he hadn't noticed until now.

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Bemused, Peter stretched, already feeling much better. His healing factor must've kicked in overnight and cleaned up most of the damage, which meant that Peter could go back home soon. He had no idea where in the U.S. he was, but he thought it was Massachusetts or something. It couldn't be too far from Queens.

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

So, when Sam and Dean told him that they were in Lawrence, _Kansas _instead of Lawerence, _Massachusetts, _Peter spit out his slightly soggy Lucky Charms all over the table.____

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! if you want, comment and shit bc i love feedback


	5. v

It had been two days after Peter's little episode when the kid finally decided to speak to Dean in full sentences about how he needed to go home.

"I'm all for it, honestly," Dean said, pouring himself another cup of coffee. He offered some to Peter, who refused and shifted in his seat at the table in the kitchen. "The sooner you leave, the better off we are, right, kid?"

Peter grumbled something that Dean skillfully ignored and took a sip of his coffee. Between Peter's injury and Wade's constant chatter and the stream of sexual innuendos, Dean was done. He wanted them out of his bunker as soon as possible.

Huh. When Dean started to call it _his _bunker, he had no idea, but it was true. He and Sam were the owners of the bunker. They were Men of Letters, after all.__

____

"Hello, my dearest emerald eyes and baby boy!" A loud voice singsonged, and Wade barged into the kitchen, wearing an apron that said: "kiss the cock."

____

"Where did you get that?" Dean said, eyeing the robe because he knew for a _fact _that the bunker didn't come with that.__

______ _ _

Wade smirked. "I don't kiss and tell, Deanie."

______ _ _

Peter rolled his eyes. "Christ, Wade."

______ _ _

"Actually, you should ask Angel-Eyes about Christ. I bet they were buddies or something."

______ _ _

"Okay, Cas did not know Jesus," Dean wanted to shoot Wade, but it would probably scar Peter, so he decided against it. He took another sip of his coffee. "Also, when are you leaving?"

______ _ _

Before Peter could answer, Wade started freaking out. "What? We can't leave! This place is fantastic! And what about the male models? Petey, baby, we can't leave! No! I won't leave! I refuse! I-"

______ _ _

"You're so dramatic, Wade." Peter sighed.

______ _ _

Honestly, Dean punched Wade just to shut him up. The faint bruise that appeared on his cheek (even though it faded a couple of seconds after) was just a plus.

______ _ _

"Ow!" Wade exclaimed, pretending to be hurt. "What was that for?”

______ _ _

“To shut you up,” Dean growled just as Sam chose to walk into the kitchen, confusion etched into his features. Great, a lecture was coming. Damn Sam and his morality.

______ _ _

After Sam told him off, Dean decided to walk around the bunker for a bit and find Cas. He hadn’t seen the angel since yesterday when he and Wade put Peter on the bed.

______ _ _

To be honest, Dean was worried. Cas had been acting a bit strange this past couple of days, and Dean wanted to get to the bottom of it. If you got past the romantic feelings that Dean had, Cas was still his best friend. He cared about him and didn’t want to see him unhappy.

______ _ _

Dean found Cas lying on his back, staring at the ceiling from the comfy haven of the bed. He seemed content just to do nothing, and Dean envied him.

______ _ _

“Hey, Cas.”

______ _ _

Cas sat up, startled, but relaxed when he saw Dean. “Hello, Dean. Is everything okay?”

______ _ _

“Yeah,” Dean started. He sat on the bed, facing Cas, gathering enough courage to talk about _feelings _. “Are you okay? You’ve been acting strange lately.”__

________ _ _ _ _

Was that a wince? Dean couldn’t tell, his vision was adequate at best. One might even say regional, but that was a whole other thing. “I’m fine, Dean.”

________ _ _ _ _

Dean gave Cas what was hopefully a positive look, but it probably just looked pained. Dean wasn't that good at expressing emotions other than sadness and anger. It was a problem. “Come on, Cas, you can tell me. We’re friends, right?”

________ _ _ _ _

Cas sighed. “Right. It’s just that lately-“

________ _ _ _ _

“Guys?” Sam said, panting. He looked like he had run all the way here. "We have a situation in the kitchen. Can one of you please help? Or both? I don’t care.” 

________ _ _ _ _

With that, he disappeared. Dean stood up and pointed his index finger at Cas. ‘This isn’t over.”

________ _ _ _ _

Nodding, Cas started walking briskly down the hall. 

________ _ _ _ _

Something was up, and Dean was going to figure it out.

________ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _

-

________ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _

Wade accidentally poured scalding hot coffee all over himself. And because of the no-masks rule, he didn't have his magical pouch thing, so he couldn't do anything about it except sit there and accept the pain.

________ _ _ _ _

Peter, of course, was freaking out. What if Wade was permanently damaged? What if he couldn’t heal from that? Peter wasn’t stupid; he had seen Wade die and come back to life plenty of times. But what if somewhere in his cells, there was a limit to how many times Wade could die and come back? 

________ _ _ _ _

“Don’t worry, baby boy, I'm all right,” Wade grinned and winced. Sam was trying to get towels and tell Dean and Cas to stop making out and get their asses in here, all while holding his cup of coffee. Peter wasn't sure if that was ironic or not.

________ _ _ _ _

“Christ, Wade, what were you thinking?”

________ _ _ _ _

Wade wiggled his hairless eyebrows. “Um, I wasn’t?”

________ _ _ _ _

“Well, that’s obvious.” Came Dean’s gruff voice and Peter was slightly relieved that he had shown up with Cas in tow. Only slightly, because Dean scared the shit out of him.

________ _ _ _ _

“Come on! I wanted to see if it was hot or not! Are you really going to judge me for that?”

________ _ _ _ _

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. “Peter, you guys are leaving today, right? Can you speed that up a bit?”

________ _ _ _ _

Honestly, Peter couldn’t wait to leave and get back to Queens. He missed his Aunt and his friends, well, one friend named Wanda who was as only friends with him because he was one of the youngest Avengers. His other friend was sitting next to him with coffee all over him.

________ _ _ _ _

Oh, shit. The internship with Tony! College! His job! He was fucked. When Jameson fired him, Peter was going to be too broke to afford life. Tony must be off the wall as well. They had a strange relationship, and even though Tony played the bored billionaire who couldn't care less, Peter knew that Tony was secretly a good person who just cared too much.

________ _ _ _ _

He must have been gone for about five days now, and that was going to be a real bitch when he got back. He still had to tell Aunt May and Wanda (plus the Avengers) that he was okay. Truthfully, Peter was looking forward to seeing Aunt May again.

________ _ _ _ _

"Yeah, we can leave right now, actually. I don't think I have any luggage. Wade better not have any either," Peter skillfully ignored Wade's glare. "We'll need a car or something, though."

________ _ _ _ _

Sam smiled. "There's a bunch of old cars in the garage! You can use those."

________ _ _ _ _

"What do you mean by 'old'?"

________ _ _ _ _

Apparently, 'old' meant, well, _old _. At least four cars from around 1960 were parked in the garage, and Peter was immediately drawn to a cherry red car next to a mint green one.__

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Take it," Dean said from next to Sam. Cas had disappeared again. "We don't use it. I got my Baby."

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dean's 'Baby' was a gorgeous black 1967 Chevrolet Impala that Peter was ignominiously in love with. Even though he wasn't car person, Peter had to admit; the Impala was pretty amazing.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Thank you, honestly. You have no idea how much this means to me. I mean, you guys rescued me, and that was-"

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

Peter was interrupted by Wade's cry of, "Come on, baby boy! We got a city we gotta reach!" He stumbled into the room with at least five pounds of candy in his arms, and honestly, Peter didn't want to know where he got it.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Right," Peter said, fighting the urge to kiss Wade. "Thank you, and hopefully we don't meet again. No offense."

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sam chuckled. "No, it's okay. I feel the same. Stay safe, alright? We don't want to have to rescue you again."

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

Wade gave a mock salute before diving into the car, dropping the candy in the tiny backseat. "Ooh, Petey, can I please drive? Pretty pretty please?"

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

"I don't have a license, Wade." Peter reminded him as he got into the passenger's seat.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Oh, right! Sorry, Spidey! Oh, couldn't you just web us there? That might take a while, though. I guess the car is the best option. Well, time to go! Strap in, baby boy!" Wade started the car (which took a while), waved to Sam and Dean, and drove out of the garage and onto the road. He was driving recklessly, and Peter was worried he was going to die before he was able to see Aunt May again, but it was fun. 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

A lot of things were fun with Wade. He just had a strange effect people. Or maybe it was just Peter. Either way, Peter loved spending time with him and loved to make him laugh and-

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

Peter was so fucked.

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating in awhile. how do y'all feel about an update once a week? i think i might have to do that, these next couple of days are gonna be busy as hell. 
> 
> i think i'll try to update every monday or smth. just a little thing to help your week.
> 
> thanks for reading!!


	6. vi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um, sorry? i just forgot to upload. for two months (ish). whoops. 
> 
> i can't promise anything tbh

“Wade?”

Wade hummed. “Yes, my love?”

Peter coercively blushed before responding. “Why are you friends with my aunt?”

With a curse, Wade pulled the car over, the radio on low. Some random rap song was playing that Peter made a mental note of getting later.

“Peter, listen-“

“I’m not mad, just, I don’t know, curious.” 

Wade sighed. “You were out one day, and I stopped by your aunt’s house to ask where you were, and she invited me to stay and watch Golden Girls with her. I’m sorry, Peter, I am-“

Now, it was Peter’s turn to sigh. “Wade, it’s fine. I was just wondering. I’m not mad, okay? Promise.”

But Wade still looked upset, so Peter scooted closer to him in the tiny car. “Honestly. It’s fine. I’m glad that you’re friends with Aunt May or whatever. It means that you can take care of her when I can’t.”

Wade turned to look at Peter, and suddenly it was too small and too hot in the car (where was Wade’s mask?) and oh, Wade’s lips are soft looking-

“Thanks, baby boy,” Wade said as he pulled away. He started the car and was driving on the road again in no time. “We better get going; I’m sure that Aunt May is worried.”

_What just happened? ___

__Did Peter just think about _kissing _Wade? No, that wasn’t right. Except it was. Peter wanted to kiss Wade. He wanted to hug him and never let go and stare into his eyes forever, but _why? _Why does he feel like this? What’s happening?_____ _

______They reached New York City about a day later, stashing the car in some “safe house” that Wade had scattered across the country. Peter was beyond grateful to be back in Queens; this was where he grew up, where he loved and lost and made _memories _. It was _home _._____ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Alright, well,” Wade said awkwardly. They were outside of Aunt May’s apartment building, and Peter was pretty sure that a stranger passing thought that they were breaking up. “See you around, Spidey.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________As he turned to walk away, Peter felt panic course through him. “Wade, wait.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“What?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Don’t leave.” Wade slowly walked towards Peter, confusion framed on his features._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“What are you talking about?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________And so Peter kissed Wade. It was nice because Wade’s lips were so _soft _, and then Wade put a hand around the small of Peter’s back to pull him closer. It was fantastic and great and _why hadn’t Peter done this sooner _?_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________It was Wade who pulled apart. Peter made a protesting noise and forced his eyes open._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Breath, you idiot,” Wade said, amused, and Peter found himself gasping for air. He didn’t even realize that he wasn’t breathing, but that was just the effect Wade had on people._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Come in with me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Wade narrowed his eyes. “Are you talking about sex, or…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“No!” Peter squeaked. “Come with me to Aunt May’s apartment, dumbass. I don’t want to do it alone. She loves you, anyway.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Really?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Of course!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Wade smiled, a beautiful thing that Peter never wanted to look away from and together they walked into Aunt May’s apartment building._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Two weeks later, Peter and Wade had settled into a comfortable routine. Peter would wake up early to get to class, then go directly to the Avengers Tower for his internship with Tony Stark. When he would get home, Wade was there, usually with some form of food. They would eat dinner and watch some TV shower together, sometimes Golden Girls, and occasionally Whose Line Is It Anyway._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Peter liked comedies, so what?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________It wasn’t until yesterday did Peter realize something was very, very wrong. It all started when he walked into the Avengers Tower for his internship (late as usual)._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Hey, Peter! How are you, man?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Okay, that was weird. Since when did Tony be friendly to him? Or call him ‘man’?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Hi, Mr. Stark. How are you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Tony was moving random metal parts around on a desk amidst all the clutter. He looked like he had no idea what was going on, and while Peter could relate, he was also suspicious. Tony was acting _really _strange.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Peter settled into his work, enjoying the simplicity of it all. There was just something so familiar and comfortable with science. It was his safe place, his home away from home. Science would never let Peter down._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________A couple of hours later, he noticed Tony sneaking off somewhere with his phone, looking around like he was hiding something._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Okay, that’s weird.” He muttered to himself and quickly decided to follow Tony._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________The Avenger was standing little ways from the lab entrance, phone pressed against his ear, and his eyes were glancing around nervously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Yeah-“ He said and winced. “I know. It’s going well, Boss, I swear. The kid doesn't suspect a thing. Is he suspicious? Um, no, I don’t think so. Besides, it’s not like we’re going to kill him or anything. We just need him for information about Spiderman and the Avengers. He’s in the lab every day, after all.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Peter was shocked. Tony was apparently not Tony, just some minion following orders. Although, how the minion had managed to look exactly like Tony was a mystery to Peter._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Also, he just gave away his entire plan in a matter of seconds, so now Peter knew everything that was going on. That meant that he had about 9 hours to leave the city before he would get kidnapped (again!) and grilled for info (again!)._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Faster then Usain Bolt, Peter darted back into the lab and focused on his work. There was only one hour left of the internship anyway, so as soon as Peter got home, he would have to pack up his stuff and leave the apartment all while not telling Wade-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Wade. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Fuck. That ruined Peter’s half-assed plan. Could Wade come with him? Where would Peter even go? No one was willing to take him in. Staying with Aunt May would put her in trouble, and lodging with Mary-Jane and Harry would put them in a shit-ton of trouble. So who was there?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Ah, right. The Winchesters. They would probably be helpful. It wouldn't be for long; besides, Peter wasn’t sure how much of Wade Dean could tolerate. Two weeks, at most._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Now, all he had to do was tell Wade this._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________About an hour later, Peter calmly cleaned up his supplies, grabbed his backpack and coat, bid Tony goodnight, and left the building. Once he was a safe distance away, he broke out into a sprint, hoping to reach Wade in time. His apartment probably had been bugged, so Peter would probably have to explain on the way to the Winchester's bunker._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Fuck. Why does this shit always happen to him?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	7. vii

Once Peter reached his apartment, he took a deep breath and began to sprint up the stairs (it’s faster and healthier than taking the elevator. An escalator would be cool, though. Imagine sprinting up an escalator.)

Off-topic. Whatever.

Panting, Peter reached his door, unlocked it with shaking hands, and barged in. Wade looked up from the counter in surprise (it’s a small apartment, okay?) and titled his head. 

“Everything okay, baby boy?”

“No, Wade!” Peter exclaimed. “Come on. Pack your things; we have to go. I’ll explain later.”

“Excuse me?”

Peter sighed. “Please. This may be the most cliché thing ever, but there’s no time to explain. Please.”

Wade looked really fucking suspicious, but Peter couldn’t be bothered to care. He slithered (is that the right word? Who cares, honestly) into his room, shoving as many clothes as he could into his backpack, and only stopping when Peter felt hands on his waist and someone pulling him up.

“Petey,“ Wade breathed, Peter’s back pressed against his chest, and Wade’s hands splayed on his hips. “What’s going on?”

Peter turned so that the two of them were chest-to-chest, which might have been a bad idea because Wade was so close and pretty and fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-

“I can’t tell you,” Peter said and swallowed thickly. “Please, Wade, just grab your phone and a pair of clothes, and we can go. I’ll try to explain on the way there, okay?”

Wade scowled, released Peter, and gathered his stuff up.

Three hours later, the two of them were in the same vintage car as before, on the way to Lebanon, Kansas, to find Dean and Sam and the angel. Fuck, what was his name? Crass? Class? Chass?

Cas. That’s right.

“Alright, baby boy,” Wade said, bored. It was the kind of tone that you use when you want information but don't want to see like you want information. Wade was getting pretty good at it. “What’s the sitch?”

Peter sighed. “I think that-well, I know that Tony Stark has been cloned and is trying to get me for information about Spider-man, who is also me, and the rest of the Avengers. I don’t know why, the whole thing’s kind of fucked up.”

Wade hummed and tapped his fingers on the wheel thoughtfully. “Okay.”

“That’s it? Just ‘okay’?”

“Yep.”

“You aren’t gonna yell, or scold me, or-“

“What do you want me to say?” Wade said, amusement clear in his voice. “You are more than capable of handling fake Tony Stark. I get the whole running thing away thing, though. Don’t worry, Spidey, I got you. I’m here.”

Peter smiled softly. “Thanks, Wade.”

A few minutes later, Peter coughed awkwardly. “Hey, wait, I have a question.”

“Shoot. That means ask me the question, don’t actually shoot me, because that would suck. A lot. The blood would get all over this shitty vintage car, and Forest Eyes Who Lives In An Actual Batcave might kill me.”

“Um, I hate myself for saying this, but like, what are we?”

Wade considered this for a moment before shrugging. “Um, dating? I mean, unless you don’t want to because that’s cool, I don't mind. Whatever you want to do, Pete, I’ll just blindly follow you, like usual. But remember-"

“Of course I do!” Peter squeaked, flinching at his sudden enthusiasm. “Of course I do.”

“Alright then,” Wade said smartly. “We’re dating. OMG, does this mean I get to change my Facebook status AND my Instagram bio? Because that would be great.”

“Sure, Wade."

-

“Oh, no. Turn the fuck around; I’m not housing that fucking lunatic again.” 

“Sir-”

“Dean.”

“Okay,” Peter said slowly. “Dean. Please, just let us stay for a little while, this crazy thing just happened-” 

Dean’s eyes rolled so far back into his head that Peter started to get worried. “Kid, I don’t care about your problems, alright? Complain to Sam and don’t talk to me unless it’s an emergency. Got it?”

Peter nodded.

“Good.” Dean turned away, but Wade grabbed his shoulder, pulling him back. 

“What the fu-”

“Hey, asshole,” Wade said, and Peter internally (and externally, let’s be real here) sighed. “Don’t talk to him like that.”

Dean looked scandalized. “Excuse me?”

“Wade,” Peter warned.

Wade released Dean’s shoulder. “I don’t die. Remember that.”

With that, Wade strolled off, his and Peter’s backpacks slung over his shoulder. Peter admired the way he walked and was overwhelmed by a wave of gratitude for that dumbass (ex) Merc With a Mouth.

What a dumb name.

Two hours later, Peter and Wade had put their bags in some random room and joined Sam, Dean, and Cas in the library.

It was beautiful. Peter couldn’t remember if he had been in here last time (he had been passed out and possibly traumatized), but he was in love. 

There were shelves all over and tall bookshelves built into the walls, all fully stocked with thousands of books that Peter couldn’t wait to read. It all looked fascinating. Books had the ability to transport you into a new world, which is something that Peter is grateful for every time he has a bad day. Which is quite often. That’s probably not good.

“So, Peter,” Sam said, smiling slightly. It was a comforting smile, not like a creepy smile, like the one that the supervillains do in cheesy movies. “What happened?”

“Well,” Peter said and launched into the story of how he discovered that Tony wasn’t Tony and that he was being hunted for being Peter and Spiderman.

Wade was sitting in the chair next to Peter, one arm draped over the head of Peter’s chair and the other holding a beer. Dean also had a beer, which looked almost empty. God help him.

When Peter finished, Sam gave a low whistle. “Damn. Yeah, I get your decision now. I’m sure that you’ll figure it out.”

Peter gave a tight smile, “Thank you. I just don’t know where to begin-”

“Wait, shut up a sec,” Dean said, leaping out of his chair.

“Um, Dean-” Sam furrowed his brow in confusion, but Dean was already out of the door. He came back a few moments later with a laptop (a much crappier version than the one Peter had. Sad. Ew, he sounds like Trump) and another beer. Of course.

“Tony Stark took a trip to Japan three weeks ago, and none of the other Avengers-”

“Assvengers!” Wade added helpfully.

“Have been seen since,” Dean continued. “No one knows what’s going on. Even that CEO, Potts or whatever, has no clue.” 

Huh. 

“‘Huh,’ indeed,” Dean snorted. Whoops. Peter didn’t mean to say that out loud. “It’s like he's just...vanished.”

“Well, then,” Peter said, catching Wade’s eye. “Guess we gotta go save the Avengers."


	8. viii

When Dean fell asleep that night, it started out as any typical dream. Typical for him, anyway. 

Sam got stabbed by Ruby, and then Cas was killed by Lucifer. Dean screamed their names, he cried and did everything, but it was all routine. All of Dean’s screams were monotone. It was just a cycle.

That’s when things started to get interesting.

Ben was there, and they were talking, just like old times. Where Lisa was, he had no idea, and he didn’t care. Dean never realized how much his heart ached just to see one of them again. 

Anyway, they were talking and laughing (Was Dean having a good dream? How dare he. Thanks, Brain, for ruining the nightmare routine) when Ben morphed into Peter. Except it wasn’t just Peter, it was Ben too, like the two of them combined, and Dean’s heart grew heavy once more.

Sam emerged from somewhere, spouting some bullshit about how they had to leave, and even though Dean protested, it wasn’t enough. He was wrenched away from the Peter/Ben hybrid.

Dean screamed that he wanted to stay, but Sam was determined to drag him away from his (Son-figure?) friend. 

Suddenly, Sam and Peter/Ben were gone and it was just Dean, screaming into empty darkness, alone.

He woke up with a start, his shirt clinging to his chest, his forehead thick with sweat. Dean glanced around the room, the panic fading from his eyes when Cas walked in.

“Dean?”

Fuck. “‘M okay, Cas. Promise.”

Cas stood awkwardly by the door until Dean sighed and ushered him in. The angel sat at the foot of Dean’s bed, facing him. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. What time is it?”

Cas fixed him with a hard glare, one that took Dean by surprise. “I refuse to tell you the time until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Alright, Feathers, you really wanna know?” Cas nodded slowly, unsure. “I had a dream that Ben-remember him, Lisa’s son? You wiped their memories.”

Cas winced at that, but Dean continued like he hadn’t seen it.

“Ben was Peter and Peter was Ben. Yes, I know the kid’s name, I’m just fucking with him, and Cancer Face most of the time. But they were the same person, and then Sam took me away from him/them.”

There was silence before Cas said, “I believe that this means that you view Peter as a substitute for Ben.”

“He’s not a replacement, Cas. No one is. Nobody could replace you. Or Sam.” Dean added, realizing that could be taken the wrong way.

“I know, Dean.”

More silence stretched between them, like a vast field of nothingness, where nothing exists, and nothing is alive. It was very comforting.

After a few moments, Dean realized they were staring into each other’s eyes, and he cleared his throat. Can’t have it getting too gay, now.

“Well,” Cas said, standing up. “I came in here to check on you, for I sensed your distress, and also because Wade and Peter are having very loud intercourse in the room across from mine.”

Before he could stop himself, a laugh escaped Dean’s mouth. He was surprised at the sudden mirth, and it was apparent that Cas was too, but Dean didn’t stop it. Soon, Cas was chuckling also, and Dean decided to file this moment away for his “Cherished Memories” box. 

Cas had a beautiful laugh.

-

The next day (it was three in the fucking morning when Cas and Dean had that chat. What the fuck?), Peter, Cas, and Dean were all in the kitchen, eating random shit that was found in the fridge. Some of it was edible, some of it not. Dean wondered how they were supposed to tell the food apart.

“So, Pete,” Dean said through a mouthful of cereal. “You and Wade, huh?”

Peter choked on his-wait, what food was that? It looked nasty. And expired. “Um, what?”

“Y’know,” Dean said casually, trying very hard not to smile at the expression on Peter’s face. “You and him. How long has that been a thing?”

Peter looked like he would very much appreciate getting kidnapped again at this moment. “We’re not-um, it’s-”

Just then, Wade decided to walk into the kitchen, successfully causing Dean to laugh. “Hey, Emerald! Hey, Sapphire! Hey, baby boy! How’d you sleep? Just Spidey, I don’t care about you guys.”

“How kind,” Dean drawled, shooting Cas an amused glance. 

Wade waved him off. “Yeah, yeah. You’ll live. So, when do we start hunting-I mean, ‘helping to save’ the Avengers?”

“Just because of those ‘air quotes,’ you’re not allowed to help.” 

“He’s got a good point,” Sam said from out of nowhere. Where the actual fuck did he come from? “When do we start?”

Dean shook his head. “Yeah, that’s called a ‘big-picture goal.’ We’re gonna focus on small-picture goals for now, okay?”

Peter leaned in, just as Sam sat at the table. “What do you mean by small-picture?”

“Hunting!”

Sam groaned. “Number one, you sound too excited about hunting. Number two, we can’t go hunting with-” He motioned to where Peter and Wade were sitting. “Them.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the non-exclusive, all-inclusive guy?”

“Yeah, well, times change.”

Cas, who had been relatively quiet up until this point, made a humming noise. “Hunting could be good for them. The Avengers could be a side project of sorts.”

“Um, no!” Peter exclaimed. “The Avengers need to be saved so that they can save the world when the time comes. Have you ever saved the world?” 

Wade winced. “Um, Peter-”

Dean gave a slow smile and looked at his brother. “Gosh, I don’t know, Sammy. Have we ever saved the world?”

Sam snorted. “I don’t know, Dean. I mean, there was that time with Lucifer and how we stopped the Apocalypse-”

“Oh, don’t forget defeating the Leviathans. Sorry, Cas.”

Cas sighed. “It’s okay.”

“Oh,” Sam continued, obviously enjoying the way that Peter’s jaw dropped open. “Can’t forget Amara. Or trapping Lucifer. Again.”

Dean nodded in agreement and turned to Peter again. “Four times? Probably more. We’re just that good.”

Peter snapped his jaw shut and leaned against Wade a little. “Fine. I’ll go hunting with you guys. What do you hunt for, anyway? Like deer and stuff?”

Dean smirked. “And stuff.” 

-

They were in some shitty ass town that Wade most certainly did not care about, looking for a fucking vampire.

A vampire. Isn’t that ridiculous? Vampires aren’t real. They’re made up to scare children into eating cabbage and going to bed at seven. It’s not a real thing.

That’s what Wade thought, anyway.

“Vampires don’t exist.”

“Shut the fuck up, assclown,” Dean snapped, pulling into the motel. “I got us two rooms. I’m sure that you two will need it.” He made sure to cast a pointed glance in Peter’s direction, which caused Sam to smile.

“So,” Sam said, grabbing the bags from the trunk. “We’re gonna put our stuff in the rooms, go out to get some late lunch, and then scope out the crime scenes. Okay?”

Wade sighed and handed Peter his bag. His mask was on, because why would he show his face? Also, because he wanted to prove to Peter that he could do in this world. 

You see, Wade hadn’t been a mercenary for about six months now. And every since he and Peter had become a thing, he didn’t want to go back to the contract-killer business. 

The only thing that worried Wade was that some asshole was going to kidnap Peter again and that he might have to un-alive them. One could only hope that nothing like that happened.


	9. ix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey i'm really sorry that i didn't upload for like a month lmao. 
> 
> also, lovely leah (dushroom) has translated this fic into chinese! it's so great of her to do this, i'm so excited!
> 
> also if any of you have any idea where this is going please tell me because i have no idea

“What. The. Fuck!” Peter yelled. One of the vampires smirked at him and continued sharpening their swords.

A woman with blonde hair said something to the leader in a foreign language, and he nodded. 

Peter inhaled sharply. “Where am I?” He demanded, and the Blonde Woman laughed and walked away, avoiding a broken bottle on the ground. The leader watched her go, then turned back to Peter. Fuck.

Why do these things keep happening to him?

 

-34 hours earlier-

 

“Alright, so,” Dean said. Peter pulled at his suit uncomfortably, and Wade slapped his hand away. “You know the deal, right? We’re there to get information, nothing else. Grab and go. Got it?”

Wade gave a mock salute. “Yes, sir!” He shouted, flashing Peter a shit-eating grin.

The five of them were on their way to some woman’s house whose son had been killed by a vampire. Peter didn’t know her name, and he wasn’t supposed to. He was given particular orders that he wasn’t to say, touch, or do anything. 

But, Wade got to go with them because he could ‘sense danger.’ Bullshit. Peter had his fucking spidey-sense, he could spot danger from a mile away. It wasn’t fucking fair.

Then again, nothing was truly fair, and Peter was only going to have to live with it. He was happy for Wade; this was Wade’s chance to prove to himself that he could be one of the good guys. 

The car (“Impala!”, as Dean would shout) stopped outside a ramshackle little cottage. Peter thought it looked like a crack house, but didn’t dare voice it out loud.

“Place looks like a fuckin' crack house,” Wade snorted, and Peter had a hard time fighting the grin off of his face.

“Don’t be like that while we’re talking to her, okay? She just lost her son. Show some…”

“Respect.” Sam supplied helpfully, and Dean gritted his teeth.

“Right. That. Let’s go. Um, Cas, keep an eye on the kid.”  
With that, the three of them were gone, Cas and Peter left in the car. 

Five minutes went by. Peter was starting to wonder what Cas and Dean’s relationship truly was, and thought that maybe he should say something. But what would he say? Oh, right.

“I’m glad that Wade’s going with them,” Peter said, observing Cas. The angel’s facial expression morphed into curiosity, the sun shining golden rays on his skin, which made his blue eyes even more startling.

“Why?”

Peter smiled sadly. “Because-” He took a deep breath.

“Well, Wade wasn’t always a good guy. He killed people, bad people, for a living. He got paid to do it, too. Even before Weapon X, which I’m not even supposed to know about, he still killed people.

“I’ve known him for about six years, but I haven’t actually talked to him until about a year ago. And I didn’t develop feelings for him until around June. Wade’s a good person, he was just caught up in some crazy shit, y’know?”

Cas nodded.

“He’s trying, though, I can see it. Wade really wants to work for SHIELD, and to do that; he needs to be cleared and to be cleared he needs to stop being a mercenary. I believe in him, though. I think he can do it.”

“You really like him, don’t you?” Cas asked thoughtfully, though it was more posed as a question. 

A cloud passed over the sun, plunging the car and the contents of it into darkness. Peter inhaled shakily, not prepared for the series of thoughts that would cross his mind.

They had only been dating for, like, two weeks. But Peter's feelings, his emotions, were strong. The way that Wade looked when he was happy, truly happy, filled Peter with a joy that saving people never could.

Yeah, maybe Peter did ‘really like him,’ or whatever Cas had said. It wasn’t love, not yet, but those feelings were well on their way.

Sun filled the car again, and Peter exhaled happily.

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

-

Back at the motel in Sam, Dean, and Cas’s room, the team (Could they even call themselves that? It was kind of dumb) sat around a table, eating pizza and drinking beer. Soda for Peter, because he didn’t like alcohol.

“So, get this,” Sam said, swallowing his pizza. “Talia’s son, Harry? He was hanging out with these kids right before he disappeared. Talia said that she had never seen them before. Harry never even mentioned them.”

Cas made a noncommittal noise, and Dean snorted. “Great. So, what is it? A fucking vampire cult slash gang?”

Sam shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe. But Talia said the last place she saw Harry and his ‘friends,’ they were near some abandoned mill located on the outskirts of town.”

Wade leaned forward. “We should check it out.”

“After I get my four hours,” Dean said, already pouring his beer down the sink and plopping down on his bed. “Bye, now.”

Petr laughed. This hunting thing was actually pretty cool. Maybe he would be able to use his powers to help out and not be seen as some weak, sickly kid like Dean thought.

But, when he told Wade precisely that later that night, Wade frowned. 

“Are you sure, baby boy? You might jeopardize yourself. Did you even bring your costume with you? I brought mine, because, well, I’m fucking Deadpool. You should be careful, though, if you do decide to go all Spider-man on their asses. At least wear a mask. Wearing a mask is good. You could also-”

“Wade,” Peter interrupted, lying on the bed next to Wade. “I’ll be fine. I have my suit and my mask. I’m just helping the Winchesters out.”

A sliver of moonlight flickered across the room, almost like someone just ran through the beam. Peter decided to ignore it.

Wade sighed and pulled Peter closer to him so that they were spooning, Peter’s back pressed against Wade’s chest. It was strange, how perfectly they fit together.

-

At around five in the afternoon, Dean wiped the disgusting pizza grease from his face (Peter wondered if he knew what a napkin was, and Wade helpfully told Dean the same thing, resulting in a punch to the face) and said that it was time to check out the mill.

It was an old, run-down thing, wood peeling back from the walls and rats living inside of bigger rats that lived inside the floorboards (not quite, but you get the picture). Those same boards moaned unhelpfully when you stepped on them, caused Cas to growl in annoyance. Peter noticed Dean shift and adjust his jeans right after Cas uttered the noise, and judging by the nudging that Wade was giving him, it hadn’t gone unnoticed.

“Great,” Sam said. “There’s nothing here but old wheat and rust.”

Dean shrugged. “It was worth a checkout. We’ll find a new lead.”

Of course, that was when everything went to shit. 

Peter’s spidey-sense went off just in time for him to duck and watch as a knife hit the wall and cluttered to the ground.

There was lots of yelling and Dean’s voice, and then Wade screaming profanities. Someone large and dark grabbed Peter from behind and dragged him away from the fight, and when he started shrieking for help, Tall-Dark-and-Large hit him over the head with something big and solid.

Which is how Peter woke up, tied to a chair with fucking vampires circling him like a baby gazelle in a field of lions.

Blonde Woman came back, said something else, and then grabbed a sword from the table. Peter struggled against the rope a bit, hoping that his strength could help him.

“How long have I been here?” He rasped, and the leader smirked.

“Five hours.” He said in a foreign accent. 

“Oh, God,” Peter hung his head low and gave a tug on the ropes again. “I’m gonna die here, aren’t I? Just my luck. This is just fantastic. I love my life. Great! Just! Fucking! Great!”

The Blonde Woman™ pointed her sword at Peter’s throat, who instantly stopped talking. “No talking.” She said, glaring daggers at him.

Peter just nodded and hoped that Wade would arrive soon so that when Peter broke out of these fucking ropes, he would have a backup.

A shot rang out in the distance.

Speak of the devil, Peter thought bitterly.

Suddenly, Wade burst into the room, wild and dangerous and in full Deadpool getup. Peter would be lying if he said it wasn’t hot and terrifying and amazing all at once.

“Baby boy!” He yelled, tossing a gun in the air. As fast as he could, Peter broke out of the ropes (finally!) and caught the weapon in mid-air, then turned to face the culprits.

Sam, Dean, and Cas burst in with swords instead of guns. 

“Deadpool! Use your swords and decapitate them!” Sam yelled, already slicing one’s head off.

There were about twenty vampires, but their numbers were dropping rapidly. Cas shoved his hand in the Blonde Woman’s™ face, and her entire head disappeared in a flash of light. When it dissipated, she dropped to the floor, and Cas moved on.

Holy shit, Peter thought. That was amazing.

He cut off another vampire’s head, wincing at the sound it made and turned to see what Wade was doing.

Wade chopped off another head and laughed as Dean cut off the last vampire’s head.

“Alright!” He cheered, pumping his bloody katana in the air. “That was fun!”

Peter sighed and rubbed his wrists. That fucking rope must have caused a rash.


	10. x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i might just update once a week. that sounds nice. it's winter vacation, though, so i'll have plenty of time to crank out those chapters. i'm hoping to finish this fic soon. oh well, we'll see.

There’s a lot of things that Tony Stark likes to do.

He likes to fly around in a suit made of metal saving people from impending danger, he also likes to have sex with women (and men, he doesn’t discriminate), and lastly, Tony LOVES not to get fucking kidnapped by invisible assholes who don’t even show their faces.

Oh, and he also just loves to have to wake up in a white room with Loki, the God of Mischief and Thor’s rebellious brother, laying on the floor across from him.

Tony’s head hurt like a bitch, his leg was feeling numb, and the white was starting to bother his eyes. Splendid.

“Stark,” Loki snarled from his spot on the floor. “What have you done to me?”

Loki was apparently in pain, hunched over with his arm tucked to his side like he was injured. His face was scrunched up, and every word he uttered seemed to make things worse for his body.

“What did I do to you? What did you do to me? Where the fuck are we?” Tony snapped. His patience was wearing thin. His heart beat rapidly against his rib cage, and with a start, he realized that he was about to have a panic attack.

Tony took large gulps of air to control his breathing, but it didn’t seem to help. His chest hurt, his hands were shaking, and his thoughts wouldn’t stop.

He was terrified of dying. He was going to die. This was it, Tony’s life was over, he was going to die. Oh God, he was going to die. 

That’s ridiculous. Tony’s just going crazy. 

The room was starting to spin slightly, but Tony didn’t notice. He felt numb. His whole body was cold-why was he so cold?

“Stark,” A voice said, but it sounded far away. Where was he? Had Tony dreamed about waking up in that white room with Loki?

Loki. Right.

“Tony,” The voice said again, gentler. “I’m not going to hurt you. Can you hear me?”

The voice started talking about anything and everything until Tony finally regained control of his breathing. With a start, Tony realized that the sound was Loki.

The God of Mischief had just coached him through a panic attack. What was going on in the world?

“What-” Tony found his mouth was extremely dry, so he licked his lips and pretended not to notice Loki’s eyes following the motion. “What is this place?”

Loki sighed and sat against the wall next to Tony. “A prison, most likely. I’m not entirely sure; my magic is cut off in here. I’m not able to access it.”

“Access it?” Tony questioned. Yeah, he knew that Loki was on SHIELD’s Wanted List as number one, but if they were stuck in here together, he might as well tolerate the guy.

With a roll of his eyes, Loki nodded. “Yes, Stark.”

A moment of silence passed before Tony blurted out, “You called me Tony before.”

“I suppose I did.” Loki looked uncomfortable, and Tony grinned.

“You can call me it again if you want.”

Loki glared at him. “I do what I want.”

“I’m sure you do.”

-

Time was a concept that had no meaning in the white room. Tony didn’t know when the sun was up or down; he didn’t know what day it was, or month. Or even year. It just all blurred together.

Loki, surprisingly, was not a complete asshole like Tony had previously thought. In one vulnerable moment, Loki had explained that he had been under Thanos’ and the Other’s control when he attacked Earth. That wasn't what sold Tony on the idea that Loki was completely guilty, though. It was the look in the god’s eyes when he talked of his wrongdoings. Loki was guilty and regretted his actions, and it was evident that he was haunted by what had happened. 

But the look in his eyes reminded Tony of himself when he first got out of Afghanistan with metal armor and blood on his hands. It reminded him of all the panic attacks and his insomnia and all those nights he spent working on his suits because he couldn't bring himself to sleep and face nightmares and night terrors. 

So, yeah. Tony thought that Loki was just as haunted as he was, and Tony also felt like he had to help. That was why he became Iron Man in the first place. It was his made mission in life to help those less fortunate than him, to save people from impending death and despair. Tony made it his new mission to try and help Loki out.

Of course, that was when everything went to shit.

“I don’t get it,” Tony said. “Why do you hate Thor? He’s a good guy.”

With a snarl, Loki turned around to glare at Tony. “Thor doesn’t care about anything. He just wants the throne. I’ve witnessed that myself first-hand. He’s rude and arrogant, and imperious! He doesn’t deserve the throne.”

“But you do?”

“Yes!” Loki hissed, but his face said otherwise. “I am the rightful heir to the throne.”

“But you’re adopted,” Tony taunted. He couldn’t help it; he just liked to rile people up. “Technically, Thor is the rightful heir. He is Odin and Frigga’s son, after all. Where are you from again? Some boring island of the cost of a planet that no one knows about?”

“Shut up, Stark.” Loki’s voice had gone from desperate to deadly calm, and that was when Tony realized that he should probably back off. He didn’t want to, though.

“No. Where are you from? Not Asgard. Maybe from Earth? Let me tell you, all that hatred and thirst for power is definitely and Earth thing. Who knows. Will you tell me? Pretty please? That would be great.”

“Stark,” Loki took a few steps forward, and so Tony took a step back. Loki moved forward again, so Tony moved backward. They kept going until Tony felt his back hit a wall. Fuck.

Forcing out a laugh, Tony tried to put some distance between the two, but Loki just moved closer until he was right in front of Tony. “What are you gonna do to me, Wannabe Goth Guy? Please, enlighten me. What would you do to me? I’m not gonna stop asking you about where you’re from. Just tell me, it’ll make everything so much easier.”

“Be quiet.” Loki snarled.

“No.” Tony huffed.

Loki assessed the situation before stepping closer to Tony so that they were pressed flush against each other. Now, Tony could see the hurt in the other man’s eyes.

“Tell me where you’re from,” Tony said.

“Be quiet, you dull animal.”

“No.”

“Shut up.” Loki looked pissed, and Tony grinned.

“Make me.” 

Loki moved himself closer still, his hands pressed against the wall next to Tony’s head. 

Suddenly, Loki’s lips were on Tony’s, and then a giant black hole opened up from above, and James Fucking Buchanan Barnes fell through the ceiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry christmas, y'all!


	11. xi

“We need to find them,” Peter told Dean for the fifth time that day. “They’re hurt and in need of help and it’s our duty-”

Dean clenched his hand into a fist. This fucking kid was getting annoying. “All in due time, Spider-kid. Can you let me relax now? It’s not even ten o’clock. Just fuck off.”

Peter looked down guiltily. “I’m sorry. I’m just worried.”

Christ, this kid had puppy eyes that could rival Sam’s. Fuck. 

“I know. We’ll find the Avengers, don't worry, kid.”

Suddenly, Wade burst into the kitchen, ignoring the rack of pots he slammed into absentmindedly. He blundered up to the pair excitedly and starting shouting right in Dean’s face.

“The Avengers! I know where they might be! The good ol’ Captain was spotted in Nebraska with the sneaky little Russian prostitute of his.”

“The Black Widow?” Peter asked.

“Oh, I always thought that there were two. One for solving a crime, the other for fucking. Hey, that gives me an idea! Any of you got a cloning machine? Petey, I think I might rival Tin Man with my genius!”

Peter buried his head in his hands and sat down. “No, Wade.”

“Nebraska?” Dean asked, ignoring Wade’s babbling. “Where in Nebraska?”

“Some fuck-all town. I don’t care. What are we gonna do now?”

“We’re gonna fucking try and find them, dumbass. Do you know what town?”

Wade shrugged. “I think Omaha. Maybe. I’m not sure. My source is probably dead, though, so I can’t exactly double check.”

“What do you mean ‘he’s probably dead’?” Peter asked, slightly concerned. Dean just sighed.

Silence feel before the question was answered. “In my old line of business, and emphasis on the old, Pete, you didn’t have friends. There were allies and enemies. That was it. This guy was an ally, but one of the enemies most likely got to him. He wasn’t a good guy. Nobody is.”

Well, shit. Wade must have seen some shit. The look in his eyes was full of regret. For a quick moment, Dean felt somewhat sorry for the guy. It passed quickly, though.

“Alright,” Dean said, clapping his hands together and ignoring Peter’s worried glances. “When should we leave?”

“Wait,” Spider-boy said. “It might be a trap. They’re probably trying to lure us to Nebraska. If they have a clone of Tony, then they’ll have them for the rest of the team.”

“Or it’s actually the Captain and the Black Widow.” Dean supplied hopefully. Usually, he wasn’t one of false hope, but Peter was still a kid who had seen too much. It reminded Dean of himself when he was younger. 

Peter shook his head. “No way. I don’t trust that. It’s better to stay put.”

Wade winced. “It might be better to go after this. It’s the only lead we have.”

Why was Wade acting all mature? Was it the whole ‘allies and enemies’ spiel? Suddenly, Dean was feeling sorry for Wade again. 

Damn, Dean was getting soft. Then again, he’d been soft for years. It was probably more apparent after Benny, though, and Cas.

Cas. Right. Shit, where was he? And Sam? It was 10:30, way past when Sam gets up. He was the only one in the bunker with a regular sleep schedule, Dean thought fondly. Good for him.

Usually, Cas doesn’t sleep. He’s probably in his room, reading or staring at a wall. It’s actually quite worrying. The wall-staring part, not the reading. Reading is good for you, at least that’s what people say.

Off-topic. Right.

“Um, are you sure? I don’t want to get kidnapped again, and they’re after me. I heard Fake Tony say so. This isn’t a good idea, Wade.”

“Exactly! The best ideas aren’t good at first, but give it a little time, and you’ll be thanking me in no time!”

Okay, Dean was pretty sure he had whiplash from the sudden change in Wade’s mood. Wow.

Peter sighed. “I don’t know…”

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. “Who cares? Wade’s right, it’s the only lead we have. We should chase it.”

“Fine.” Peter threw his hands in the air. “Whatever. Let’s do it. I’ll pack our bags. Hasta luego.”

With that, Peter left the room, and Wade sighed dreamily. “He’s so hot when he talks Spanish.”

Dean closed his eyes and tried not to punch Wade. God, he needed a drink.

-

Surprisingly, they made it to Omaha in record time. Well, as fast as five people crammed into a four-person car could go, which was pretty quick. Dean would forever be proud of that fact.

They stopped at a motel and checked in for the next couple of days. Dean got two rooms; one for Peter and Wade, and the other for Sam, Cas, and himself. Perfect.

The five of them settled in, relaxing for an hour or so until Dean sprang up and declared that he wanted to get a drink. He was grabbing his coat and keys when Cas chimed in, sounding monotone.

“I’ll come too.”

Dean turned around and furrowed his brow. “You sure?”

Cas nodded and followed Dean out of the room.

The car ride was semi-awkward, but Dean was grateful for the silence. It gave him time to think about everything. Like the fact that he was part of a mission to rescue the Avengers, and how he was working with a pair of fucking superheroes, and also how he really really wanted to kiss Cas.

He usually had a fleeting thought about kissing the angel, but recently, it was getting out of hand. Dean thought about kissing Cas constantly. It was becoming quite the problem. Of course, Dean didn’t feel like stopping this ‘problem.’ Maybe, just maybe, one of these days he might actually man the fuck up and kiss him. 

Yeah, like that’ll happen.

Pulling into the parking lot, Dean stole a quick glance of Cas in the dim moonlight and internally screamed. Why did he have to be so fucking hot?

They walked into Sandy’s Secret Spot (not much of a secret if there were signs everywhere promoting your business, but whatever) and sat at the bar. Dean ordered a beer. Cas ordered a fucking water.

“Jesus, man, you gotta lighten up a bit,” Dean told him. “Get a beer or wine or whatever you want. I won’t judge you.”

Cas shook his head. “I’m good. I remember the last time I drank alcohol. It was not a pleasant experience.”

Dean shrugged and took a long sip of his beer. “Whatever suits you.”

They talked about random things after that. It felt good to just sit there with a friend and talk about anything and everything. Dean didn't have many friends, and Sam just worried about him constantly and overanalyzed everything he said. So, it was nice to just sit with Cas at a bar and be happy for once.

Until it was all destroyed.

Some whore came sauntering up to Cas, lust in her eyes and a dress cut too low. She completely ignored Dean, which was a first. Dean didn’t mind, though; he truly only cared about the fact that she was hitting on Cas.

“I’m Aspen,” She said, giving Cas a dirty smile. “What’s your name?”

Cas shot Dean a desperate look. “Um-”

“He’s not interested,” Dean interjected. “We’re in the middle of something.”

Aspen giggled. “I don’t mind joining you two.”

“Well, I mind.” Dean snarled. He stood up, wrapped an arm around Cas’s waist and angrily stormed out of the bar. He didn’t leave as fast as he would have liked to, because Cas was a slow walker and like hell Dean was letting go of his waist, but it didn’t matter.

Dean also ignored the fact that Cas had an arm curled around his shoulders. Whatever.

They got into the car and drove back to the motel, in complete and total awkward silence. Wow, that trip went splendidly, Dean thought sarcastically. This is exactly how he wanted this night to go. Fuck everything, honestly, just fuck it.

The car parked and just as Dean was about to open the door, Cas’s voice stopped him.

“Dean, we should talk.”

“Cool,” Dean said with false mirth. “About what?”

Cas fixed him with an unimpressed look. “Really, Dean? About what just happened at the bar. Do you not think it’s important to bring up?”

“Nope!” Dean chirped. “Goodnight!”

Before he could open the door handle, Cas locked the car, and no matter how many times Dean tried to unlock it, the little lock mechanism wouldn’t budge. Finally, after a few moments, Dean gave up and whirled around to face Cas angrily. 

“Fine, what is it? What do you want to talk about so badly that you have to destroy my car?”

“The bar,” Cas said.

Dean narrowed his eyes. “That girl was hitting on you. I didn’t want her to, so I stopped it. Anything else?”

Cas kept staring at him until Dean finally snapped. “Fine. I scared her off because I’m in love with you, Cas, and I have been for a while now. And it was stupid what I did, and I’m sorry. Now, I’m gonna go get drunk, or at least more drunk then I am right now and forget all about this.” 

Fuck. Why did Dean say all that? It must be all the drinks he’s had tonight. Fuck! Dean’s such an idiot! Cas is an angel of the fucking lord, who has better things to do than sit around and play house with a hunter, such as himself. 

“I’m sorry,” Dean blurted out. “I don’t know-”

Dean was cut off by Cas pressing his lips against Dean’s own. It was quick, but Dean instantly felt himself relax. 

“I’m-I am sorry, I don’t know why I did that.” Cas laughed nervously, which sounds strange and foreign on Dean’s ears.

Dean kissed him again and felt all his worries melt away. They made it into the motel room in record time, shoes and shirts flying off in random directions, their lips never leaving the others.

The night was filled with pleasure and desperation. It was everything Dean had hoped for and imagined. It was perfect.

He fell asleep to the sound of Cas’s steady breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally, destiel got together
> 
> also i think i know where this story's going, so just stick with me. it'll end soon too so keep on the lookout or whatever. i sound like such a fucking piece of shit lmao


	12. xii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't complain or click away it'll all make sense, i promise

The floor in the white room was hard and uncomfortable, and strangely, Loki seemed perfectly fine with letting Tony’s muscles suffer.

Tony didn’t get it; he and Loki kissed, and sure, it was weird, but still. Shouldn’t Loki be all over him? Or refusing to look in his direction? It was one or the other. Both had happened to Tony quite a few times; he was used to women (and men) wanting everything to do with him or nothing to do with him at all. 

But Loki was different. He acted as if nothing had happened at all, and usually, that was normal, but Loki was pretending like the kiss hadn’t happened. He still talked to Tony like they were allies, maybe even friends, but that was it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Maybe he just wants me to obsess over this instead of trying to escape, Tony thought. The sneaky bastard.

Also, the fucking Winter Soldier was sitting against a wall away from Tony and Loki because he was still asleep. It had been a while since he fell through the ceiling, which made Tony think that he had died. Oh well, the fucker deserved it, Tony thought bitterly, ignoring the pang of guilt that struck deep within himself.

“Are you sure you can’t do magic?” Tony asked Loki again. They had been over this, yes, but it was fun to watch Loki get all pissy. 

“Yes, Tony,” Loki sighed. “I’m pretty sure.”

“Darn,” Tony said, snapping his fingers in mock disappointment. “There goes my only plan.”

Loki looked at him boredom evident in his expression. “I’m sure that you had no plans to begin with, Stark.”

“Oh, it’s Stark now?” Tony snorted. “Okay then, um, Odinson.”

“Wrong,” Loki snapped. “Laufeyson.”

“Ah, right. Daddy issues are still a thing, then, aren’t they?”

“Shut up, Stark.”

Tony put his hands in the air in mock surrender. “Whatever.”

Suddenly, a choking sound made Tony look over to see the Winter Soldier (Tony refused to call him Bucky or whatever it was, even in his head, because then that would mean that he cared) coughing or (hopefully) dying or something. Loki immediately rushed over, but Tony lagged behind, not wanting to see his enemy’s face.

Finally, the Winter Soldier stopped coughing and looked up at Loki. “Oh God, it’s you,” He said, and then scrambled to the other side of the room, right where Tony was.

“Oh, no,” He said upon seeing Tony. “This can’t be happening.”

“Yeah, well, I feel the same way, asshole.” Tony spat. “You fucking ki-”

But Tony couldn’t get out the words, instead choking on his own tongue. This man that stood before him had killed his parents, his mother. His beautiful, sweet, and courageous mother. 

The Winter Soldier rolled his eyes. “I did kill them. Whoops. Whatever, man, get over it. Your dad was an asshole, anyway. Plus your mom was kind of a bitch, not to mention overbearing. Geez, you should be thanking me.”

“What the fuck?” Tony shrieked before wrapping his hands around the Winter Soldier’s neck. Loki just watched in contained fascination, obviously not going to try to stop the fight from happening. 

They rolled around on the floor for a bit before Tony grew tired. The Winter Soldier must have been bored as well because he stopped fighting right around the time that Tony ended the conflict.

“No. Stop. Don’t fight.” Loki said in a monotone voice. “Oh, good. You listened.”

“Well then, Parent-Killer,” Tony said, still lying on the ground. “How do we get out of here? I kind of need to talk to someone other than you two, because, well, no offense, but you two are kind of bad company. And boring, don’t forget that.”

“Why thank you, Tony,” Loki said dryly. “ I too would like to escape, but alas, I am unsure how.”

“Ditto,” the Winter Soldier added from his spot on the floor.

Tony still refused to call him ‘Bucky’ or whatever that dumbass nickname was that Steve came up with when he and Barnes were younger.

Oh, Steve. He was a good friend, and Tony was sad to see him go. It made his heart feel heavy, and his brain hurt. Why did Steve choose Bucky? Was Tony not good enough? Why?

Fuck, he’d called him Bucky. Whatever. Okay, so Tony would only call him Bucky in his head. As long as it wasn’t in person, then he was probably safe.

Of course, Tony could also just call him James. See how much that pissed him off. His name was James Buchanan Barnes, right? Oh, maybe Barnes would work. It was Bucky Barnes, right?

Why was Tony obsessing over this? Was this really what his life had become? Obsessing over the man that killed his par-mother?

For the first time, Tony found himself wishing that someone would rescue him from this hell.

-

A good chunk of time passed since Barnes had fallen through the ceiling. And yes, Tony had decided to start calling him Barnes, because why not?

“So,” Tony asked Loki, who was busy staring at his hands as if they were made of some strange texture. “Because you and Thor and Odin and all that exists, does that mean that Norse mythology is real? Like, all of it, including the giant serpent thing and that weird wolf and the whole nine yards?”

Loki considered this for a moment before nodding. “Yes, of course. We have existed for many years. But we are not the only gods in the universe. There are many others with completely different beliefs. We do not all get along. There have been many skirmishes over the past few millennia about how to rule Earth and the other respective realms. Your Christian God, I believe, won that battle.”

“Really?” Tony said, fascinated. “That’s so cool.”

“Eh,” Barnes said from his corner of the room. “I’ve seen and heard cooler things.”

“Yeah, well, you were brainwashed by Hydra to do their evil bidding, so I would imagine that all of that experience would lead to cooler things.”

“Steve saw the coolest thing once,” Barnes sighed dreamily.

Tony snorted. “Let me guess, the ice? Nice try, asshole.”

“Did you just admit that he was brainwashed?” Loki said.

“What?” Tony blinked before wincing. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Why couldn’t Barnes just fuck right off and leave him alone for the rest of his life?

“You did, I heard it. Thanks.”

“Fuck off, Barnes.” Tony sneered. “I don’t want your fucking thanks. I want you to go back in time and save my parents!”

Barnes rolled his eyes. “From what, myself? Yeah, okay. Nice try, jackass. This isn’t Doctor Who.”

“I hate you so, so much, and when we get out of this fucking place, I’m gonna-” Tony’s threats were interrupted by another black hole opening up on the ceiling and Wanda Maximoff falling onto the floor. 

Tony groaned. “Oh, great. Another one.”

A little while later, Wanda woke up and clutched her head, whining about how much it hurt.

“Suck it up, princess.” Barnes snapped. “We’re all in this together.”

Tony couldn’t help it; he laughed harder then he had in a long, long time. “Okay, Troy Bolten. We gonna get our head in the game?”

Loki scowled. “I don’t understand that reference.”

“That’s the point, Goth Girl,” Tony said, smile fading fast from his face.

“I’m not quite sure how I got here,” Wanda said, her soft Sokovian accent cutting through the arguments.

“That makes both of us, sweetheart.”

“I was…” She trailed off, looking around the room. “Wait, that is Loki. And Steve’s friend, James.”

“Bucky,” Barnes interjected. 

Wanda nodded. “Right.”

Oh, good grief. How many more superheroes were going to fall from the ceiling, through another fucking black hole? And most importantly, when was Tony going to be finally able to escape from this fucking place?

“Gang, meet Wanda. Wanda, meet the gang. What’s the last thing you remember?” Tony asked, careful not to spook her as if she were a frightened wild animal. 

“I remember being with the rest of the Avengers, and then suddenly, I was here. I am not quite sure how I got here.” She repeated.

Tony sighed. “That doesn’t help. Was Steve with you? Maybe he’s looking for me- I mean us.” 

Wanda nodded after a few moments. “Yes, he was. I am not sure. I do remember seeing a panicked look on his face a few seconds before I ended up here.” She gestured widely to the space around her when she said the word ‘here.’

“Alright,” Tony said slowly. “That’s good. We’ll be rescued soon, then. Don’t worry, gang; it’ll all be fine!”

“Honestly, I hope that as soon as we get out of here, someone fucking shoots you.” Barnes groaned.

“Thanks, Cyborg!” 

“Tony, just shut up,” Loki said, rolling his eyes, which looked absolutely scandalous in Tony’s unholy eyes.

Barnes nodded. “What he said.”

Wanda just sighed.

-

A lot more time passed before Tony brought up a question that had been bothering him constantly. 

“Hey, aren’t you guys sorry for all the people you killed? Like, at least a little?”

“I know that I feel terrible for what happened Lagos.” Wanda chimed in.

“Yes, thank you,” Tony exclaimed. “But what about you two?”

Loki shrugged. “I deserve to rule Earth. If Thor wishes to have Asgard, then that’s his choice.”

“Okay, thanks for that, Loki, but you killed people. A lot of people. Don’t you feel bad?”

“No,” Loki said automatically. “I don’t really care if I’m being honest with you. Those deaths are microscopic in the eyes of bigger plans.”

Tony resisted the urge to scream and turned to Barnes. “What about you, Cyborg? Any guilt under all that metal?”

Barnes rolled his eyes again. “I’m with Loki. I mean, I was brainwashed, and everything, but the people I killed deserved it.”

“Um, what about my parents? They weren’t fucking doing anything wrong.” Tony said, struggling to keep his anger in.

“Yeah, they were,” Barnes said. “Whatever. Who cares. Also, to answer your question, no, I don’t really feel guilty.”

Him and Loki high-fived, and Tony began to scream, a raw, high-pitched noise that reeked of frustration and bitterness towards his parents, for dying, and for whoever put him in here with these fucking idiots.

-

From behind a single pane of painted one-way glass, a man in a white lab coat scribbled something down on a yellow sticky note as he observed Tony Stark crumbling to pieces. One minute later, he walked away, the only sound in the room being his shoes hitting the floor and the faraway shriek of a broken man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it'll make sense soon okay i promise just stick with me


	13. xiii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now it's a crossover

The night after Dean and Cas’s coupling, as Wade so lovingly put it, the five of them went out to a bar (a different bar than the one Dean and Cas went to, obviously) in town, hoping to relax a bit and take a break from all this fake detective work.

About halfway into the visit when Peter was playing pool against Wade, who was complaining nonstop about how he deserves to win, he saw him.

A very handsome man walked into the room, striking blue eyes darting around nervously. His dirty-blonde hair was cropped short, but his beard was long. He was dressed in a dark hoodie and jeans, topped with a baseball cap and glasses. He was obviously trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, even ordering a beer as he sat down at the bar. 

Peter’s breath caught in his throat and his knees felt weak. Wade must of noticed, because he bounded over and started asking what was wrong, but Peter couldn’t talk, because Steve fucking Rogers had just sat down in a bar, drinking (gasp!) an alcoholic beverage.

“Wade,” Peter croaked. “Get the others. It’s-”

Wade looked over to where Peter was staring and almost choked on his drink (where did that come from?). “Holy fucking shitbiscuit, it’s Captain Goody-Two-Shoes.”

Dean looked over sharply from where him, Sam, and Cas were talking. “What?”

“Come on, Deancakes, gotta keep up! The First fucking Avenger is over there!” Peter winced at Wade’s words, but felt grateful that the other man kept his voice low so that only he and Dean would be able to hear their conversation. Peter sometimes forgot that Wade had practically been a spy. Well, a spy that killed people. 

Whatever.

“Alright then,” Dean said. “Peter, go over there and talk to him.”

“What? No! No way, Dean. I’m not doing that.”

“It’s okay, Petey! I can do it!”

Peter shuddered and groaned. “Fine, fine. I’ll do it.”

He put his pool stick on the table and walked over to where Steve was sitting.

The man looked like absolute shit, and that was coming from the kid that sometimes didn’t eat for three days. His hair was messed up and the bags under his eyes were dark and noticeable. Peter felt kind of bad for the guy; fighting with your friend over your lover must have been hard.

Wait, weren’t Steve and Bucky a thing or something? Peter could only briefly remember hearing that some gay shit was definitely going on with them. Oh, well. He would probably find out the answer later. 

Someone’s ringtone went off, and Steve glanced down and winced. He fished his phone out of his pocket and answered it with a very pointed hello.

“I know, I’m trying. Yes, I understand. We don’t know where Tony is, that’s what I’m trying to find out! He’s been missing for a while, now, Widow. We can’t just- Yeah. Okay. Bye.”

This is my chance, Peter thought. I can do this.

“Hey!” Peter chirped as he sat down next to Steve. “I couldn’t help but overhear that you’re looking for someone named Tony. What a strange coincidence, because I am too! We should-”

“Listen, kid,” Steve’s eyes kept darting around the room, almost like he expected someone to jump out and attack him. “It’s not the same Tony. You should leave.”

Peter snorted. “Let me guess-brown hair, sarcastic, self-destructive?”

Something on Steve’s face contorted, and he looked surprised. “Wait, I know your voice. You’re that kid, the Spider-Kid.”

“It’s Spider-man,” Peter said miserably. 

“Right, sorry,” Steve said. “Why are you here?”

“Funny story,” Peter laughed before cutting himself off. 

This wasn’t a good idea. Steve might not actually be Steve; he could be the clone or an android looking for information or some Steve Rogers look-alike. Peter’s heartbeat skyrocketed, but before he could do anything that might jeopardize the mission or whatever this was, he met Wade’s eyes from across the room. That calming presence was all he needed before turning back to Steve, newfound confidence dripping from his very presence.

“Listen, Steve. Can I call you Steve? Whatever, I’m gonna. Listen, you might not actually be who you say you are. So I’m gonna ask you a question, okay?”

Steve nodded, eating up every word. 

“We met in an elevator when I was first introduced as an intern at Stark Industries. The elevator makes those weird beeping noises, but they’re like soft and annoying. Do you remember what our conversation was?”

“Of course,” Steve said, a soft smile forming on his lips. “You looked nervous, especially about the beeping in the elevator, so I told you that there was two hundred and eighty-four beeps from the lobby to my rooms. Then, you told me that there was only about ninety-eight little beeps from the lobby to the workshop.”

Peter relaxed slightly. “Okay. Cool, so you’re not a clone. That makes my life a lot easier. Hey, we probably should talk somewhere else.”

Steve narrowed his eyes. “Did you come here alone, Peter?”

Oh, shit. The second Steve finds out that Peter’s working with Wade, he’s done. The two of them have been known to disagree on a lot of important issues, and most of the Avengers don’t tolerate Wade the way that Peter does. It’s horrible and rude because Wade deserves the all the best; he’s trying to change, Peter’s seen it with his own two eyes, and Tony Stark treats the man like dirt on his five-hundred dollar shoes.

But, if Steve finds out that Peter and Wade are working together (ignoring the fact that they’re fucking dating because that would be an even bigger shitshow), then Peter’s whole world might collapse.

Peter nodded. “Um, yeah, of course. Who else would I come here with? I don’t have many friends, Cap. Everyone thinks I’m too nerdy or something.”

There was a moment of awkward silence before Steve cleared his throat. “You’re a horrible liar, Peter. Who are you here with?”

Admitting defeat, Peter let his head hang low. “Some hunter friends of mine. Sam and Dean Winchester and their friend, Castiel.”

“Winchester, huh?” Steve said. “I knew a man by the name of Henry Winchester. Where are these Winchesters, anyway?” 

“Over there,” Peter guestered to where Sam and Dean were playing pool. Castiel was merely watching the balls, occasionally looking up and cracking a smile when Dean said something to him.

“There are four men over there,” Steve pointed out, and Peter internally winced. 

“Um, yeah, about that-”

Before Peter could say anything more, Steve got up from his seat and walked over to Sam and Dean’s pool table, much to Peter’s horror. He scrambled out from his chair and hurried over to them, hoping to avoid a conflict.

In the panic, Peter accidentally slammed into an old man who fixed him with an angry glare as he stuttered out an apology.

“Kids these days have no respect…” The Old Man™ said, and walked away.

Peter finally made it over to the pool table, where Steve and Dean were quietly squaring off. Sam fluttered around them like a concerned Mama Bird and Cas looked mildly bored and murderous, which is something that Peter wanted to learn how to do, because damn.

“I don’t care that you’re a fucking national hero, Rogers, you touch the kid and I’ll have your arm shoved so far up your ass you’ll taste it. We clear?”

Steve didn’t back down. “What does the name Henry Winchester mean to you?”

“He’s our grandfather.” Sam said, looking around nervously. “People are starting to stare, so-”

“I knew him. He was a great guy, even with his strange book club.”

Dean snorted, and Steve glared at him before continuing. “Peter comes with me.”

Suddenly, Wade stepped forward. “It’s a package deal, Captain Tight Pants. You want him, you get the four of us too.”

“Who are you?” Steve asked, even thought Peter was pretty sure he already knew.

Wade stepped a little more into the light and adjusted his hood (without taking it off) so that Steve could see the face underneath it.

There was a moment of pure hesitation before Steve sighed, the tension leaking out of his frame. He stepped back from Dean and face Wade, disappointment written all over his face. “Wilson, I don’t know what-”

“I’m not doing anything wrong,” Wade spat, and even Peter could see the angry and aggravation in the man’s body. “But Peter’s fine where he is. Right, Baby Boy?”

Peter nodded, not knowing what else to do.

Steve narrowed his eyes. “I don’t have time for this. Are you all trying to rescue Tony?”

Everyone in the group nodded. 

“Great. Get in your car and drive straight down the road until you hit an abandoned barn. That’s where we are. Peter, stay safe.” With that, Steve disappeared.

“Alrighty then!” Wade said after a moment, clapping his hands together. “Let’s go!”

Dean sighed and turned to look at Peter. “Why him?”

Peter smiled softly. “I don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was that stan lee? yes, it was! thanks for noticing


	14. xiv

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finally know what i want to do with this fic yes

The barn, as it turned out, wasn’t actually abandoned. It may look it from the outside, all goth and sad, but on the inside, it was a hum of activity and energy. 

Almost all the Avengers (plus, like, seven or something) were there, and they all drew some form of a weapon when Peter, Wade, Sam, Dean, and Cas all walked in behind Steve. 

A woman with red hair (holy shit that’s the Black Widow) strode forward angrily. “Steve, what the fuck? Who are these people?”

Steve sighed (Peter noticed that he did that a lot) and rubbed his head sheepishly. “They’re looking for Tony, too. I figured that we could use all the help we could get.”

There was a brief moment of silence before Sam Wilson huffed out a mirthless laugh. “Well, he’s not wrong.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Who are they, Steve?”

Peter stepped forward. “Um, well, hey. I’m Peter, that’s Dean, Sam, and Cas, and-”

“Jesus fucking Christ, that’s Wade Wilson,” Clint Barton said, and Peter winced.

“I’ll explain everything, I swear-” Steve was cut off by a man emerging from the shadows.

He was gorgeous with dark brown hair cascading to just above his shoulders, haunted brown eyes, and light stubble. He was wearing a red hoodie and jeans, and the very sight of him made Peter want to run and hide because it’s the fucking Winter Soldier! But Peter also felt sorry for him; being hunted down and treated like a criminal probably didn’t bode well with one’s conscience.

“Buck,” Steve said, visibly relieved.

“Hey,” Bucky Barnes replied. “Come here a sec; I gotta talk to you.”

Steve nodded and followed his friend (Lover? Boyfriend? Husband? What were they? It was driving Peter insane) into the next room over.

Now, Peter had heightened hearing and seeing, which often helped in situations like this. Wade had been bugging (pun not intended) him constantly over whether Steve and Bucky’s little love affair was an actual thing, and Wade wasn’t having the best day, so Peter was going to do something (sort of) helpful for his boyfriend.

He extended his hearing, but when he heard wet noises, he stopped immediately and tried not scream into the abyss that his life had turned into because that's just how Peter rolled.

“Wade,” Peter hissed. All the other Avengers plus friends were mooning over Sam and Dean, so Wade had no trouble bounding over to Peter. 

“Yes, Petey Pie?”

Peter gestured to where Steve and Bucky were ‘engaged’ in their ‘meeting.’ “Look.”

Wade’s jaw dropped open. “Holy cock-socket, are they making out?” He exclaimed, and Peter laughed.

“Um, yeah, I think so.”

The only sound for a couple of moments was Dean’s clearly annoyed voice saying something about weapons, and then Wade moved forward to hug Peter. They stayed like that for a while, wrapped around each other, and honestly, Peter had never felt for safe and secure than in Wade’s arms. And that was ridiculous because the man was dangerous; he used to be a mercenary, for Christ's sake. But that small little fact seemed minuscule in the grand scheme of things, plus Peter felt safe, which is something that didn’t happen often.

A crusty floorboard creaked beneath them, and Peter felt his lips curl into a smile. There was no place he’d rather be than in Wade’s arms, warm and content for the first time in a long time.

“I’m sorry,” Peter said, his voice muffled by Wade’s chest (A very muscular chest). 

“For what?”

Peter sighed. “You’re not having a good day. I figured that finding out the truth or whatever-”

Wade gave a breathy laugh at that.

“-might help out.”

“It does, Baby Boy. It does,” Wade said, a soft smile on his lips. 

Thank God Wade didn’t have his mask on. Seeing his face, scars and all, was something that Peter looked forward to immensely. It was in Peter sincerest opinion that Wade’s face was absolutely beautiful, and he made it his sole mission in life to make Wade believe that too.

“The things we do for the people we love,” Peter sighed, then froze. Wade tensed up too, Peter could feel it, and he could hear his own heart beating faster than a drum solo.

Fuck. Bad move, Parker, you just totally fucked everything up. Something good happened for once, and Peter just totally fucked it up, like always. Fuck!

Many profanities later, Peter stepped back from Wade with a wince. “I’m sorry. I meant, like, care about, not love, because it’s too soon and fuck, I’m sorry-”

“Baby Boy,” Wade purred, pulling Peter in close to him. “I love you too.”

Every ounce of self-doubt that resided itself inside of Peter faded away to nothingness and was replaced by happiness.

“Oh. Okay. That's cool. Well, it’s more than cool, it’s great, like, amazing, and I should really stop talking now-”

He was cut off by Wade pressing his lips to Peter’s, who melted into the kiss. Behind Wade, someone whistled, but Peter didn’t care.

He was happy.

-

“So,” Steve said after they had all reconvened in the center of the barn. “I’ve asked Thor to retrieve Loki from Asgard to help find Tony. If anyone can help, it’s him.”

There were a few grumbles and muttered complaints, but other than that, no one directly outspoke against Steve.

Except for Dean, of course.

“Wait, Loki, the same fucking guy who tried to destroy New York a few years back? That Loki? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Dean, it’s the only way-”

“Um, no,” Dean said, standing up. Cas sighed, and Sam made a wild show of trying to control his brother. “That sounds like bullshit. How do you know that Loki won’t fucking turn on you guys and destroy us all?”

There were an awkward two minutes of silence before Steve cleared his throat. “Um, we don’t know that, but Thor has him restrained-”

Dean let out a harsh laugh. “Restrained. Please, like that’ll do something. This guy’s the fucking God of Tricks and Lies and Mayhem, and you think some petty restraints will work? Yeah, I’m tapping out. We’ll find Tony Stark on our own, thanks.” He turned to leave, Sam behind him, when Natasha and Clint appeared out of fucking nowhere and trapped them from exiting the barn.

“Yeah, sweetie, that’s not happening.”

Natasha shot her partner an exasperated look. “We’re all in this together, now, Winchester. You leave, you die.”

Bucky got up from his chair and joined the ex-assassins in the front. Dean gave an audible sigh and gestured to Sam to sit back down. 

“Fine. Whatever. Fuck it. Honestly, I don’t give a damn at this point.”

Just then, a loud bout of thunder sounded from above, and everyone raised their heads to the sky in confusion. 

Lightning, rain, and wind howled outside, rattling the weak paneling of the barn. Peter shuddered and moved closer to Wade, who wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

As suddenly as it began, the noise stopped, and Thor walked in, Loki in tow.

“Ah! Captain, a pleasure.”

“Thor,” Steve said, walking forward to shake the god’s hand. “You brought Loki, good. We’re gonna need all the help we can get.” He shot Dean a look at that.

Loki sniffed. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Now, hold on a minute,” Steve said. “No killing or harming and members of our group here, Loki, or Thor will-”

“Will what?” Loki sneered, turning to look at Thor. “I am doing this out of the goodness of my heart, don’t you forget. I owe Stark an apology for throwing him out of a window, apparently.”

Beside him, Thor nodded.

“A redemption arc? Oh, the readers are going to love this,” Wade muttered.

“And,” Loki continued. “I’m the only chance you have of finding him.”

“Loki’s right,” Steve announced, which only made Sam Wilson sigh.

Wade stood up. “Steve, I think you’re wrong about Loki being right.”

“Well, I think that you’re right about Steve being wrong about Loki being right,” Dean said, a small smile on his lips.

“You’re wrong about me being right about Steve being wrong about Loki being right.”

“You’re right about me being wrong about being right about Steve being wrong about Loki being right.”

“You know what, you’re wrong about-”

Peter buried his head in his hands. “Please stop. Like, actually please shut the fuck up.”

Dean laughed, an actual, hearty laugh, and judging from the look on Sam and Cas’s face, Dean being happy didn't happen very often.

From over in his chair, Bucky joined Dean’s laughter. “You two are pretty much the same person.”

Peter laughed at that, and soon everyone was laughing, even if they didn’t know what for. 

Even Loki was smiling, a confused look on his face. 

Suddenly, his face fell, and he dropped to the floor.

“Loki!” Thor yelled. “Brother, are you alright?”

“I’m fine-” He was cut off with a grunt of pain.

“I know where Stark is,” Loki gasped.

Peter shot Wade a worried look and prepared for the worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story might end soon, how sad :(((
> 
> i want to write another avengers fanfiction but i have zero ideas so comment below what you think i should do
> 
> also happy new year!!!


	15. xv

Tony Stark was being held in a Weapon X facility in Alberta, Canada. Of all the places in the world, Dean didn’t really know why Canada was on the top of that list, but whatever. He wasn’t judging.

Okay, so maybe he was judging, but he had every right to judge. Well, maybe not, but it didn’t matter.

There wasn’t a plan yet, as Loki was frail and sickly, and even though the guy tried to take over the world and rule all humans like they were tiny sheep on a farm, Dean felt bad. 

Everyone had split up into their respective groups again. Peter, Wade, Steve, and Bucky were all in one corner talking about God knows what, Sam, Sam Wilson, Natasha, Clint, and Wanda were all laughing about something in a circle near some crates, and Cas, Bruce Banner (Holy shit it’s the Hulk!) Scott Lang, T’Challa, Rhodes, and a man with red fucking skin were all discussing something that looked important. 

Dean felt like going over to Sam, just to mess with him, but he found himself drawn to Cas. Then again, he had always been drawn to Cas. As soon as he took no more than three steps in the direction of the angel, Steve yelled for everyone to gather in the center of the barn.

Dean sat next to Cas this time, who glanced at him and smiled.

Yeah. This is the exact reason Dean enjoyed life (sometimes), to see Castiel smile. 

“Tony is in Alberta, so we need a team to go a rescue him.” Steve said after everyone had sat down. Dean looked over and saw Peter sitting on Wade’s lap, and fought the urge to roll his eyes.

“How about we all go?” Scott Lang suggested, and Sam Wilson snorted.

“Yeah, like that’s a good idea.”

“Okay, hold on a second,” Dean said. “Why are all of you here? In this barn where I’m sure tetanus was fucking invented and STDs were born?”

“That’s a good question, Dean,” Clint said sarcastically, and turned to Steve. “Why are we here, O’ Fearless Leader?”

Steve looked uncomfortable, and Dean grinned at that. The guy’s a hero and all, but he’s kind of a dick.

“It’s not safe for us to be in New York or wherever you were previously. If we’re all together, it’s probably better. There’s some people out there that want us dead for some ulterior motive, and I can’t let that happen.”

Smells like some heavy bullshit, Dean thought. But, he wasn’t supposed to judge.

Peter stood up, much to Dean’s horror. He couldn’t control the kid, but sometimes he wished he could. “Um, Steve? I’m an intern at Stark Industries, and I was working with Tony when I found out he was a clone.” There were a few murmurs of protest but Peter kept going.

“The fake Tony was on the phone with some guy and he said he needed me to get information about Spider-man and the Avengers.”

Wade burst out laughing, and didn’t stop for about three minutes. Dean could see the Black Widow growing more and more agitated, and honestly, he wasn’t sure who was going to shoot Wade first; him or Natasha.

“Wade,” Peter hissed, ears turning bright red. “Not helping.”

“I’m sorry, Baby Boy,” Wade said in between laughs. “But it’s just so funny!”

“How is it funny?” James Rhodes said, looking like he was five seconds from tearing Wade’s vocal cords out just for fun.

“Because-” Wade suddenly stopped laughing and shot Peter a desperate look. “Never mind.”

Peter sighed. “Because I’m Spiderman, that’s why.”

-

“Okay, so, raise your hand if you’re coming with Bucky, Loki and I to rescue Tony.” Steve said, and winced when more then half the room raised their hands.

After a quick glance to Sam, who had his hand up and was glaring daggers at his brother, Dean raised his hand. Beside him, Cas tentatively raised his hand as well, and Dean shot him a smile. Cas returned to gesture, and for a quick moment, all felt right within the universe.

The only people that didn’t raise their hands were T’Challa and Bruce Banner, and when questioned, Banner only raised an eyebrow and said, “Someone needs to hold down the fort.”

“How are we gonna get there?” Sam Wilson asked, and a couple of people echoed his question, much to the apparent disdain of Steve.

“I can teleport us all there,” Loki said smugly, and Dean had given into the thought that the trickster was only offering so he could show off his powers, which, if memory serves, weren’t that impressive in the first place.

Steve clapped his hands together. “Great. You do that, everyone else, get into a circle so that we all make it to Canada safe and sound.”

“You know, I actually grew up in Canada,” Wade said loudly, and only Peter turned to face him with obvious adoration in his eyes.

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Dean double checked his gun (for no reason other than he wanted to be busy), scanned the room to see where Sam and Cas were, and then joined the circle. He prayed to every religion that this teleportation shit actually worked, because if not, he would be really fucking pissed.

With a zap of green energy, the barn around them wriggled and distorted until the view was replaced with a green forest, birds chirping and the rustling of life in the undergrowth. Emerald leaves from above shook in the wind, and faint golden rays of the sun lay on the ground. A hawk circled lazily in the blue sky, and Dean took a moment to bask in the sheer beauty of the forest around him.

A little ways past the trees, a tall white building stood proud in the sunlight. There was a giant red ‘X’ on the side, and briefly Dean wondered if the architects were compensating for something.

“Steve, Bucky, and I will go into the building to retrieve Stark. The rest of you must try to exterminate as many guards and personnel as you can.” Loki explained, his voice low, which only brought light to the danger of the situation.

Everyone except for Dean, Steve, Bucky, and Loki left the forest in the direction of the building to try and remove as many security guards as possible.  
“I’m coming with you,” Dean declared, ignoring Bucky’s snort of disbelief.

Really, the only reason Dean didn’t want to hang around all the other superheroes (plus Sam and Cas) was because of Sam and Cas. He got distracted when they were in a fight, usually spending too much time seeing if the two of them had managed to get hurt or not, what they were doing, where they were, and so on and so forth.

Steve shot Bucky a quick look before shrugging. “Okay. We should get going, though.”

“Yes, of course,” Loki grinned. “I am able to teleport us inside, but we will have to navigate our way through the facility. I am told there are signs pointing us in the direction of the cells. Also, I will be able to cast a projecting shield on us, which will trick our enemies’ eyes into thinking there is nothing there.”

Bucky flashed the god a quick thumbs up before walking to the facility, Steve, Dean, and Loki in tow.

The problem is, breaking in wasn’t that hard. Most of the Avengers and their many, many allies had defeated the guards that lay in their path, and finding the cell that Tony Stark resided in wasn’t too much of a difficulty. 

A big red button next to sign that read, “TONY STARK’S CONTAINMENT ROOM” flashed menacingly, and Steve growled before pressing it rather firmly. He stepped back to stand next to Bucky, who ‘discreetly’ grabbed Steve’s hand. 

When someone says the word ‘cell’, one usually thinks of a grungy little place without windows and bars for a door. A toilet in the corner, a piece of cloth draped over a table in a poor excuse for a bed in the other. 

Tony Stark’s barren room had neither. There was no furniture, no wallpaper, nothing. It was a plain white room, except for the streaks of blood that covered the walls and the floors. 

The man himself was in the farthest corner of the room, knees tucked to his chest and his head bent low. He was rocking back and forth, occasionally looking up and saying something incoherent to an invisible figure that Dean was sure didn’t exist.

“Tony?” Steve whispered, pure desperation leaking into his voice. The rest of the team filed into the room one by one, until they were all spread out against the wall that the door was on. 

Stark’s head snapped up, and he looked absolutely ecstatic when he saw Steve. His eyes landed on Bucky and Loki and spread almost comically large.

“You guys got help! Alright!” Stark cheered, jumping up to give Steve a hug. He gave one to Bucky and Loki as well, who both just stood with their feet firmly planted, looking very confused.

“This reunion’s great and all,” Dean said, reloading his gun. “But we should really get going.” 

Loud shouts from outside emphasized the importance of Dean’s words, and Steve sighed before trying to yank Tony through the door. Before anyone moved more than four feet, though, Wade Wilson ran through the hallway.

“They’ve got Peter!” He yelled, and then was gone.

Dean gave Steve a look of ‘we should’ve left a while ago, dick-face’ and ran down the hallway after Wade.


	16. xvi

The battle was going great, really. Thor had shoved his hammer in some guy’s face (who had yelped and immediately passed out), and it made Peter laugh out loud, which didn’t happen as often as it should.

Well, the battle was going great until somebody shoved a wet rag in Peter’s mouth and attempted to drag him off to some remote part of the facility. 

Of course, as soon as the guy started hauling him away, he suddenly let go of Peter’s head and torso and crumbled to the ground. Peter spat the dirty rag out onto the floor and stared down at the doctor-figure that lay before him, with an excellently sized bullet hole in his head. Then, he glanced over the side and noticed Wade fucking Wilson pocketing one of his favorite guns, the one with the comic Captain America sticker on it.

“Holy shit,” Peter exclaimed, walking over to his boyfriend. “Did you just gun that guy down even though I was right there? Like, you didn’t even miss! Wade!”

“Yes, Petey?” Wade said and attempted to bat his eyelashes. “Are you impressed, snookums?”

Peter gave a breathy laugh and wrapped his arms around Wade before nodding. “Um, yeah. Thanks for saving my life, babe.”

A couple of gunshots rang out in the distance before Wade replied. “Anything for you, my dearest Spidey.”

One heated kiss later, the couple sprang apart when Sam Wilson’s voice called from a distance, urging (or ordering them) to get back in the fight. Peter laughed again and rejoined the assault.

He had only been fighting for a couple of minutes when a man in a white lab coat tugged on his sleeve. “They’re coming! They’re coming for you, Peter Parker! The first man was only a distraction. You must run! Go!”

Peter didn’t even have time to react, because the man in front of him dropped to the floor, blood soaking through the coat, and the stark contrast of it was enough to make Peter’s eyes hurt. 

Another gunshot sounded from behind him, and the sound of a body hitting the floor filled the air. When Peter finally turned around, it was to Wade and Dean both holding their guns up. Wade looked desolate, and Dean just looked annoyed.

“Come on, kid,” Dean said, pocketing his gun. “We got Stark. Time to go.”

-

“Mr. Stark!” Peter cried, throwing himself forward to hug his mentor. 

Tony gave him an awkward pat on the back. “Hey, kid. Thanks for, y’know, helping rescue me and all that.”

“Of course! I’m sorry that we couldn’t get to you sooner, really, but we all tried our best-”

“Yeah, I got that. Who are the Abercrombie & Fitch models?” 

Peter frowned. “They’re Sam, Dean, and Castiel. They’re actually pretty cool, and they seemed willing to help. Maybe you should meet them-”

But Tony was already striding towards the brothers, determination written all over his face. Steve noticed this and ran forward, confident that a fight was going to break out.

“Hey,” Tony said, stopping just in front of Dean with his hand held out. “Tony Stark. Thanks for the rescue mission. It went pretty well.”

Dean snorted and shook Tony’s hand. “Dean Winchester. That’s my brother, Sam, and that’s our friend, Cas. And it was okay. I would call it an almost perfect rescue mission.”

Tony laughed. “I think we’ll get along pretty well, Dean.”

Leaning on a tree, Peter sighed. Wade noticed that his boyfriend was alone and shimmied his way over to him. Literally.

Peter let out a loud laugh and kissed Wade when they were close enough. After a while, Peter pulled back and smiled. “We rescued Tony and figured out where the other Avengers were. Apparently, they had all dropped off the face of the Earth when they figured out that Fake Tony was, well, fake. Steve said that Natasha shot him at point-blank range, and then they hauled ass out of New York.”

Wade hummed non-commitically. “Huh. Guess we can take a break from playing detectives, right, Petey Pie?”

“I don’t know. It was kind of fun.”

“Pete,” Wade said, nonplussed. “You got kidnapped by vampires, and you almost died, like three times. That’s fun to you?”

Peter shrugged. “There’s always a risk. Anyway, I’m just saying that while I like our old lives, it would be nice to just hang out with Sam, Dean, and Cas. They’re actually pretty cool.”

Wade snorted. “I know they’re cool. Dean’s funny, too. He doesn’t know it, but he is. Well, some of the stuff he says is funny.”

Nodding, Peter pulled back from the weird embrace thing he and Wade were doing and viewed what the Avengers And Friends™ were all doing. There were lots of laughs, and Wanda seemed happy to be joking around with Vision. Peter was sure that there was something more going on there, but he chose not to comment on it in fear of upsetting Wanda, who could be pretty badass. Well, she was always a badass. It was like there was a badass button and Wanda just had it on all the time. 

There was something so peaceful about watching what was taking place in front of you. Seeing tensions melt away and walls come down, it was exhilarating and tranquil all at the same time.

-

“What do you mean?” Tony shrieked once the team was back in the barn. Everyone had once again drifted into their little cliques, except for Tony, Steve, Bucky, and Loki who stood in the back of the compound. 

Something was unmistakably going on, and Peter was grateful as hell that he had super hearing. And super sight, if that was a thing. Enhanced eyesight, sure.

“What I mean,” Steve hissed, eyes darting around nervously. “Is that you were drugged or something, Tony. They weren’t in there with you.”

“Yes, they were,” Tony whispered after a moment. “I remember. Barnes said that he wasn’t sorry for my parents or any of his victims-”

Bucky inhaled sharply, and Steve squeezed his hand.

“-and Loki said the same. They weren’t sorry, they didn’t regret it.”

Loki tensed, and Peter could tell at that exact moment that Loki had regrets. He regretted everything. 

There was a moment of silence before Bucky shuffled closer to Tony. Strangely, the latter didn’t back away; he stood his ground.

“I am sorry about your parents. They deserved better. And I remember, too. I remember all of them.”

Tony stood, dumbfounded, as Loki nodded as well. “I have regrets, Stark. I don’t know what they made you see in there, but it wasn’t our true selves. We are shameful.”

It seemed like forever before Tony spoke again. “Okay. Um, that’s cool. Barnes, I forgive you. Loki, we should probably talk specifics. Other than that, I would like to sleep in my own bed and eat a decent meal. There was definitely some magic shit going on because I didn’t need to eat or sleep at all, but I’m still tired and hungry. Well, I guess we should reintroduce ourselves.”

Loki froze, but nobody noticed.

Tony stepped forward and stuck out his hand. "I'm Tony Stark."

Bucky smiled softly. "I'm Bucky Barnes. It's nice to meet you, Tony."

"Likewise."

After a brief moment, Tony turned to Loki and repeated his earlier actions. Loki shook his hand with vigor and a smile, which Tony mimicked.

"Loki."

"Tony."

"I have a feeling that we're going to be great friends, Tony."

"Same here." Tony grinned and let go of Loki's hand, who gave a tiny frown at the loss of contact.

That was enough spying for one day, Peter decided, as he slinked out of the shadows to rejoin Wade, who was saying goodbye to Sam, Dean, and Cas. 

“Hey, kid,” Dean called, holding his hand out. “You ever need something, just call. We’ll be there.”

Sam smiled at that, and Peter shook Dean’s hand. They said their goodbyes, and soon the hunters were on their way.

Loki managed to teleport everyone back to the Avengers Tower in New York, though he was exhausted after doing so. 

Right before he and Wade were supposed to leave through the door, Peter stopped, and breathed in the sight of all the Avengers (and more!) in the same room, talking, laughing, existing.

“Alright. Let’s go.” Peter’s gaze swept around the room once more before him and his beautiful, fantastic boyfriend left to sleep in an actual fucking bed.


	17. xvii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an epilogue of sorts

Two years later…

 

Dean Winchester zipped his backpack up, slung it over his shoulder, and gave his boyfriend a shit-eating grin.

Cas sighed as they walked to the Impala. Minutes later, Sam came sprinting out to join them, panting heavily.

“I overslept,” He said in between breaths. “Sorry.”

“Whatever. Just get in the car, I wanna be there before Tuesday.”

-

They pulled into the hotel on Monday night, much to Dean’s satisfaction. A valet took the Impala to be parked somewhere else, and Dean winced at the prospect of someone else driving his most beloved possession, but he forced it down, grabbed Cas’ hand, and they walked to their room.

Sam had insisted on two rooms because he ‘didn’t want to share a room with two people he knew were gonna fuck themselves silly.’ And if memory serves, those were Sam’s exact words.

The wedding between Peter and Wade was to take place Tuesday afternoon, so Dean was grateful that they had arrived when they did. 

As soon as he and Cas had settled into their room, Dean took the opportunity to place his suit out of his bag and lay in on a chair.

“You always look great in a suit,” Cas commented from their bed.

“I could say the same for you, but every time you have a suit on, that damn trench coat is over it.”

Cas smiled. “If memory serves, you like the trench coat.”

“I like you more,” Dean said, then turned around and bombarded (Cas would later declare that it was an attack, which Dean would deny) his boyfriend with kisses.

-

The wedding was beautiful. Peter had his aunt walk him down the aisle, and Dean felt terrible for not remembering her name. 

As soon as Wade saw Peter, he immediately burst into tears. The couple had a hard time (Dean snickered when he thought of that) not being able just to jump each other right then and there. As soon as vows were exchanged (to which Peter started crying as well) and the priest gave the okay, they surged forward in such a passionate kiss that Tony Stark yelled, “Get a room!”

Before anyone could do anything drastic (like, say, remove Tony from the wedding, which Sam Wilson looked like he wanted to do), Wade flipped him the bird, and Tony just laughed.

-

“Thank you for coming,” Peter gushed, cheeks tinted pink. “It means a lot.”

Beside him, his husband (how cute) nodded. “The drive wasn’t too bad, I hope?”

“Oh, no,” Dean said, shaking Wade’s hand. “It was good. Got here in record time, too.”

“I am glad you’re here, Dean,” Wade began. “There’s a strange disturbance in the Avengers Tower, and Tin Man was wondering-”

“Um, hell no,” Wade laughed at that.

“Alright, alright. Figured it was worth a shot.”

Peter had wandered off, and so Dean bid his goodbye.

The three of them had stayed in town for a day longer, just catching up with old friends (Sam and Steve had become worryingly close) before they decided to go back to Kansas.

“Tell you what,” Sam said as he tossed Dean his bag. “That was one of the best weddings I’ve been to.”

Dean smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I guess it was.”

Somewhere back in New York, Steve Rogers and James Barnes settled into the night, smiles on their faces and wine in their bellies, while Tony Stark and Loki drove around the state, trying to stop at as many ice cream stands as possible. 

Peter Parker and Wade Wilson had mind-blowing sex in their bed as newlyweds, leaving the packing for their honeymoon to tomorrow morning.

Wanda and Vision made bread together, deciding to try and feed it to the Avengers to see if it was edible.

Around midnight, Dean turned around to speak to Cas, whose eyes were closed, even though he didn’t sleep.

“Do you think-” He swallowed, then tried again. “Do you think they’re happy? Pete and Wade?”

Cas took a while to reply, and just as Dean was about to deem him actually asleep, the angel responded.

“Last time I laid eyes on them, they were in love and grateful to be in each other’s arms. Yes, Dean, they’re happy. Very happy. Why do you ask?”

“I want them to be happy like-like I am. I’m happy, Cas, with you. I am.”

Silence. Then-

“So am I, Dean.”

 

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading this!! when i fist started writing this fic i had no idea what i was doing, but i'm glad that i've managed to finish it!!! i'm really bad at finishing things haha
> 
> i'm just happy that people actually liked this shit lmao
> 
> thank you all sm!!!!!


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